My Dearest Edward
by ACullensHeart
Summary: When Edward leaves Bella she is lost. Then she loses charlie. Bella feels like life can't go on and on the way to the Cullen's house in Forks things change that might bring Bella and Edward together again. But can she survive a broken heart in the end.
1. Prolog

Title: My Dearest Edward

Author: TLHearts

Rating: PG 13 - Just in case

Characters: The Cullen family, Bella, Charlie and Other Twilight characters.

NOTE: I own nothing that is pertaining to the Twilight Saga. All names and/or reference to TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLISPE, or BREAKING DAWN in anyway or form belong to the author STEPHENIE MEYER. Thank you Stephanie for creating these GREAT books. I don't think that there is but just in case. Any other reference to any thing that may seem like something they may have, the rights belong to their respectful owner. This is a fan fiction story to bring two lost lovers back together when all feels lost. This is the Second fan Fiction so let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!

A/N-The poems that are in this story are original works by me that were done in High School 11 years ago. They seemed to fit right in for what I think Bella would be going through at the time Edward left her. I will be giving the Character who it fit from the chapter that the poem follows the credit followed by my Initials. i.e. By Esme (jsw).

PREFACE

Esme's POV

This is the story of how one day can change the lives of a whole family. After Bella's birthday disaster with Jasper, poor Edward couldn't bear to ever harm Bella again. So in a decision to protect her he decided to ask the family to leave Forks. He has on many occasions done the same for us, how could we not do it for him now. I wish I could take the pain that my son feels away. The pain of putting someone you love before yourself. I know he loves Bella, he is such a different person now with her in his life. He's alive and complete.

These are a series of events that lead up to the race to save Edward and his Beloved Bella. A different take on the events in New Moon. Ask yourself this, What if Bella didn't jump off a cliff, what if Edward is not the only person she looses, What Happens to Edward on his way to beg Bella for Forgiveness? How will the Cullen's put the family back together. And will Bella survive a broken heart?


	2. Ch 1: A Mothers Pain

Chapter 1: A Mother's Pain

Carlisle POV

We have been in Vancouver for about two weeks now and the family is not the same, we all seem lost in some way or another. As I stand in the door of our bedroom I see my beloved wife sitting in the window. She sits there curled up to one side leaning against the window with a quilt covering her up. The quilt is not needed, but this is what she calls "living in a human moment". In her arms was a teddy bear that I had bought her so many years ago. My beautiful, loving wife was deeply sadden with the loss of Bella. The one we left behind and who was like a daughter to us. In loosing Bella it opens the wounds left behind from loosing her first son Ian. How can you heal from loosing a child and now she has lost two.

She couldn't hide the pain she was in, my heart was about to break into pieces wishing that I could do something knowing that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't spare her the pain of reliving the loss of a child, the loss of her beloved Ian who had died in her arms 85 years ago and now Bella. For the last 8 decades Esme has been there for our family, the glue that keeps us all together. She is my wife and a mother to the ones we call our children. For the last year she considered Bella as her daughter, the joy it brought her. She can do things for Bella that she can't do for our children. She was so excited for Edward when he found Bella. She knew then that he had found his mate, found someone to love. She knew then that it would be Bella to make our family complete.

I remember the day I found Esme at the bottom of the cliff after a attempting to kill her self when her first son passed away. I couldn't imagine what was going through her mind, the pain she must have felt. She was a broken and was a lost soul who felt that she was not worth the time for someone to love her. However I fell in love with her the first time I saw her, years before when she broke her leg.

"Esme. Dear, what can I do for you to help you through this." I tried to say in a cheerful voice.

"My children, home and safe" as she continued to stare out the window " Carlisle I don't think that I can be strong for our family. I don't understand the feelings that I am being consumed with. The memories of my Ian have flooded my mind and to add to it now is the loose of Bella. Though she is alive and hopefully well I know she is not. I couldn't imagine being ripped away from my hearts desire, being torn from you. I couldn't imagine what I would do if you did what Edward did. I can't explain the way I feel right now. I'm so very sorry Carlisle, I have failed you as a wife, I have failed as a mother not once but twice. I have failed my children. What kind of person, mother could fail at so much and still be aloud to live?"

As I walked up to her I laid my hand on her shoulder. Slowly she turned grabbing on to me as if her life depended on it. She laid her head against my chest as dry sobs took over.

"What did I do wrong." she cried out

Gently prying her hand form my waist I scooped her up and sat down with her in my lap. I sat there with her head on my chest as she cried. I held on to her trying to clam her down while whispering sweet nothing in her ear to assure her that she was loved and worth all the love the world could provide her.

"My dear, you have done nothing wrong. Please calm down, it kills me to see you this way. Together we will fix this."

"Just hold me Carlisle, I need the comfort of your loving warm embrace your arms give me." I did just what she asked, moments later she continued. "Our family is broken now, I've done it again. I wasn't good enough for my first husband to love me. In trying to keep my little Ian safe I ran from his abusive hand and killed my beautiful little boy trying to keep him safe. Now here in your loving arms, where I'm safe from an abusive hand. I have broken my family apart again. I have broke our family apart. I should have done something, said something. How can you still love me? I do not deserve the love you give me."

"My dear I only wish I could have protected you from the abuse you had to go through. But this I know, I've this seen for myself first hand. You are a wonderful mother. You gave so much love to your first son Ian. You made for sure that he was comfortable and made his as safe as he could have been in his final hours. I saw you read him stories, sing him lullaby's and hum to him as the sun was setting for the evening. You never gave up on him. He left this world knowing that he was special and that he was loved.

You have been there for Edward every time he has needed you, including the times when he didn't know he needed you. You have given him encouragement to do things that he doubted he could do. You were there for him when he came home from Alaska when trying to hide from Bella. I believe the advise you gave him was "Son you can do what ever you set your mind to do, if it is love you are feeling. Then control will come with ease. " You gave him everything that a mother would give her son, you gave him love. Just like you give each of our other children. You make for sure in each of our home that Alice has a closet fit for a princess, Rosalie has a garage that a normal man would die for. Edward has his music room, while Jasper and Emmett have an entertainment center that would give any 12 year old a heart attack. You give each of their rooms a special touch that is unique to each of them. You may not realize it but you have helped each of them over come hurtles in their life that only mother can do. Most of all you give me love and support. You are my best friend and my life. Without you I would be lost and incomplete, you make me whole."

"I remember the night you brought Rosalie home and couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would do that to a sweet child. We would talk and soon she came around. Then she found Emmett, poor man thought he was seeing angels. When they came in and asked us if we could stand in as her parents, my heart jump 10 beats. Then Alice and Jasper came into our lives and before I knew it our family grew again. Alice and Rosalie had their shopping and Emmett and Jasper had their games. Then there was Edward who was alone and I couldn't help him. Then he found Bella, a shy, quite girl who sparked something deep inside of him. She brightened up our family. She was our missing link. I saw how he was careful with her and I saw the love in his eyes. I remember Edward and I talked for hours when he came home from Alaska. It felt so nice, he trusted me enough to come to me and talk to me about dating. Carlisle it is a rare occasion that he calls me mom but when he got up to leave he gave me the biggest hug ever and told me "Thanks mom, I hope you know how much I love you". Did I give him bad advise, I don't understand where I went wrong. I'm afraid of what he might do now. I see the pain and conflict in his eyes. I fear I may loose him and then the rest of our children." Esme fear was of loosing him mirrored my own fears.

"Some things just don't go as planned, you didn't say anything that I wouldn't have said to him. I Remember how you welcomed Bella into the family with no questions asked, your happiness flooded the room with joy. I have even caught you a couple of time refer to Bella as your adopted daughter while you were out in town or talking to Charlie on the phone."

"We have to fix this, I have to have all my children here and safe. We have to fix our broken family, we need happiness to fill our home again. Poor Alice has not smiled in weeks and refuses to go shopping. Jasper will not come near us and when he dose he is not the same. Emmett and Edward fight so much now, Emmett considered Bella his little sister. Tearing him away from Bella like that brings back the memories of leaving his human family. Rosalie has detail everyone of our cars to the point the look like show room pieces. She has even taken Edward's Aston Martin apart, it looks like a puzzle."

"We'll fix this I promise, it may take some time but I'll make for sure our family is put back together."

I held onto to Esme as she rested her head on my chest. We sat there under the light of the full moon for hours just letting time pass us by. Bella was in pain surly from the broken heart that Edward left her with. Edward was battling the demons within on the decision to leave Bella instead of listening to his heart. My other children were sad and lost in trying to understand the events that were unfolding. My family was broken and the only way to fix it was to bring Edward and Bella together again. Bella was the missing piece, I never really understood how much she really did mean to our family.


	3. No Chance

A/N This is a Poem I wrote in High School. I thought that it best described what Esme would be feeling. As Always Let me know what you think!

No Chance

A baby's life is taken,

Before it's had a chance.

To experience the joy of life

To read, to sing and dance.

Not given a chance

To have all the fun.

In a life that's taken

Before it has begun.

To smell a flower,

To climb a tree

Mess with a hive and

Get stung by a bee.

To meet their first love,

And have their first kiss.

All the greatest things

Of teenager bliss.

To talk on the phone,

Meet friends at the mall,

To go to a dance

And have a ball.

To learn how to drive,

And get a first job.

To go to a concert and

Mix with a mob.

To graduate from college

And get a degree,

To watch the parents faces

Lit up with glee.

A life full of goals

All fulfilled.

Unless at birth

A baby is killed.

By: Esme (jsw)


	4. Ch 2: Adjusting

S.M. Own Twilight

Chapter 2 : Adjusting

Esme POV

It's been 2 weeks, 3 days, 5 hours and 15 minutes since we left Forks and 5 days, 8 hours and 28 minutes since I fell apart. A nightmare is the only way I can explain how things are around the house. Carlisle is going to apply at Vancouver Memorial Hospital as soon as we get settled in, however he keeps putting it off. He has decided to rearrange his office again. Last time I checked all the books were in the middle of the room and he was going to put them in order by what decade they were published in. Last time he decided to do this it took him about 3 weeks. I am thankful out of all the houses we own, this one has the smallest office.

Jasper is still very upset about going after Bella. Most of the time he is in the top of a tree thinking. It's almost like he's meditating, trying to wish away the pain. He tries to stay away from Alice and the rest of the family as much as possible. Emmett is very angry with Edward about the way he treated Bella. He really doesn't understand Edward's reasoning behind his decision. He and Edward have been in a couple of heated arguments about it. Carlisle had to break up a fight the other day between Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie. I have never seen them fight like this before. I really do hate when my children fight.

Rosalie is upset, she hasn't stopped detailing the cars since we have arrived. Edward's poor Aston Martin is now a 20,000 piece puzzle. I caught her conversation the other day with Emmett. It was surprising to hear her say that she wishes things would have been different the night of Bella's birthday. Although she will never admit it she misses having Bella around. We all do. Poor Alice just sits around the house mopping, she wont even go shopping. It is strange not having the perky little pixie jumping about the house. She has a good reason to be mad at Edward and upset she had to leave Forks. Bella was her best friend. She really never had one before. Those two girls would talk all night if Bella could stay awake.

Then there's my poor Edward. The only one of our children who has waited the longest to find love and enjoy the happiness that it brings. We all had someone, someone who completed who we were. Edward came alive when he meet Bella. It took him about a week to realize what he was feeling but when he did there was no separating them. I remember the first time he saw her. He came home and just pace back and forth in his piano room. Then he would play for a while, then start pacing again. Shortly after that he came down stairs and told us he had to leave. He would be in Alaska and not to worry that he would be home as soon as he got things figured out. He came home about a week later.

We would talk after he came home from school, soon he realized he love this mysterious woman. Not long after that they were a couple, a very cute couple as a matter of fact. They both completed each other in ways we could never understand. I haven't seen Edward so happy in 9 decades. We were all happy for him, he finally found love, he found his missing half. I thought after the James accident that nothing could tear them apart, But i was wrong.

Now they are their own worst enemy. You have Bella who puts everyone before herself and then there is Edward who puts protecting Bella before loving her. Don't get me wrong, he loves her deeply however he needs to listen to his heart more and his mind less. He tends to over think things way to much.

I have to have hope things will change for the better until we can convince Edward that moving away from Bella was crazy and we return to Forks. I will fix this, hopefully sooner rather than later.

I have decided to go ahead with what we traditionally do every year for Halloween. Two weeks before All Hallow's Eve we decorate the house. It is Jaspers and Emmett's favorite holiday actually. I will design the ultimate haunted house, while the boys would build it. Alice would decorate it and Rosalie would make sure all the mechanic's work. Those two did an amazing job last year. We can't forget about Edward, he always provide the music. He normally plays the whole night while Carlisle and I handed out the candy. It is a fun time of year and truly a family event.

I called a family meeting however as they all came into the family room the saddness in their face matched that of my heart. Each sad member of my family sat there like I just told them that their favorite thing was destroyed.

"I know things are very different this year, however I think that we need to try to move on with things until we can fix them. So I have drawn up the plans to this years Halloween Haunted House."

"Crap, I almost forgot that it's almost Halloween." Emmett blurted out.

"Can I count on each of you to do your part" I asked each one of them

"Umm Esme I think I speak for everyone when I say that, well, I think maybe we should skip this year." Jasper said with his head looking to the ground.

"We Have done this for the last 35 years..........................." Quickly I was cut off as Alice just froze in place.

This is normal when Alice has her visions. Everything was quiet for a while and then She snapped out of it.

"Alice what did you see" Jasper rushing to her side, eagerly wanting to know, making for sure she was okay.

"I'm sorry Esme but it looks like we are not going to be decorating this year after all." She looked sad and angry as she got up to leave the table.

" Your Wrong Edward Anthony Cullen, how dare you think about doing that to us now, to your family. Are you an Idiot for what you did. I can't believe what you said to Bella, You could have found another way to be evil and completely hateful." Edward just sat there with an angry Alice now standing right in front of him. Even thought she may have been short, everyone knew that you do not upset a pixie. "We moved in support of that desicion you made. We moved because we love you, not because it was what we feel was right. If you do this, if you go through with this, it will hurts us more, can't you see what this has already done to the family. Do you see the pain and the heartache we are dealing with as well. You are not alone when it come to dealing with the pain that came when we left Forks." I've never seen Alice so upset before. Clearly she was very upset with what Edward was planning to do. As Alice was about to leave, she stop and walked over to Edward once again. To see Alice cry is something that is a rare site. To see a vampire cry is a rare site, It takes an extreme amount of emotions for it to happen."After everything I just said you are willing to continue with your plans." With tears in her eyes she did something that I would never thing she could have ever done. As her hand meet the side of his face she told him " I hate you Edward Masen, You do not deserve to be a Cullen anymore." When she got to the stairs, without looking at him she simply stated "They will kill you, I hope you know that. Then that will kill us. Do you not love us anymore? Do you not care if you hurts us if your gone? If you love me, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and Even Rosalie you will not do this. We are your family, we can get through this and fix it. Not all is lost, the love is still there. She will forgive you, she'll do it because she loves you. If you go through with this she will follow. You know that I am right. You saw the same thing I did." Without giving us any kind of detail she left the room. Jasper went after her and Edward went to his room with pain written all over his face. Soon everyone was gone and I was just left there sitting at the table. Things were getting bad and were about to get worse.

A few days had passed since our family meeting and still no one was willing to decorate this year. Tension was still clouding the house. We all got ready to go hunting, each of us going in different directions. Soon we found out what Alice's vision was. When we got home we found the letter Edward had left for us.

_"My Dearest Family,_

_ I'm sorry about how I am doing this but I just can't stay here. I need to be alone right now. I can't explain my choices or my decisions to leave Bella. The decision is both right and wrong. If I alone can't understand the reasoning behind my own actions I can't expect you understand them either. I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle between my mind and my heart. The battle to control the feelings I still have for the woman I loved and will always love for the rest of my life. Then there is the battle to hide away the hurt I know I have caused my beloved Bella, myself and my whole family. This battle is a battle that only I can face and I must do it alone. How can a decisions be both right and wrong? How in trying to protect the one you love, you end up hurting so many people? Each day way from Bella I slowly die inside, my dead heart slowly breaks away. I couldn't imagine what this would feel like if I were human._

_ Everywhere I look around the house I see the pain I cause each one of you, Pain that I wish I could take away. I know what I asked each of you when we left Forks, I am truly grateful in the support you given. However I see the desire to be next to your loved ones but see the distance that you all put between yourself. I can't help but hear the voices that run through mind. The care, concern and not wanting to do anything that would make me remember my beloved Bella. I am sorry for everything that I have done to each one of you. I love you all and will come home soon. As long as air flows through my beautiful Bella's body, I will come home. Please, don't try to come look for me. I just need to be alone right now. Please trust me when I say I will return home soon._

_Sincerely Yours_

_Edward A. Cullen_

We all just stood around and looked at Alice. This is what see saw. This is what she was talking about the other day. This is what she was hiding. My fears of loosing another child have come true. Now more than anything I have to fix things. I can't fail again. I will put my family back together again if it is the last thing I do. All I have to have is a little hope.

Please Review and let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!


	5. Hope

Hope

Hope is a dream from the reality of life.

A dream is a wish ones heart truly desires.

However a wish can be just as harmful as a knife.

It fuels our dreams which keeps our hopes higher.

A struggle that lasts from morning till night.

A deep belief in what is wrong and what is right.

A time to believe

A time to conceive

If what I am is what I believe

Then hope is not a dream for me

But a part of my reality.

By: Esme (jsw)


	6. Ch 3: A Broken Mind

Stephanie M. owns twilight. Hope you all are enjoying the story.

CHAPTER 3: A BROKEN MIND

Bella's P.O.V.

Oct. 1, 2006

My Dearest Edward,

My mind is broken, lost in an unknown world. Along with a broken mind there is an unknown pain in my chest, it is something that I have never felt before. Something that aches and hurts, there are truly no words to really describe it. This unknown Pain longs for the touch of your cool hands, the touch that was every so comforting. This pain I have is called HEARTACHE. Heartache is something that happens when your heart breaks, mine is currently shattered, I'm not even sure if it can be repaired. I was told that it is Oct 1, I'm not quite for sure of the events that have happened over the last two and half weeks. Although my dreams which are now nightmares tell me some of what I have missed.

As the illusion to the world I knew dies, I wake up to the gloomy skies and cold weather outside. Just another day in Forks but this time its different. I wake up with the realization of what's real slapping me in the face. The fairy tale can't always last forever. That is what I must have been living for the last 9 months....A Fairy Tale. You were my prince that I didn't deserve but you said that you loved me. The realization that only yesterday you said "Good bye" and "I don't want you". Words that felt like knifes cutting into an already broken heart. Words that left me behind in the darkness all alone and dying slowly with each breath I take. Dying of a broken heart.

Once the Keeper of Your Heart

Bella

Oct. 8, 2006

My Dearest Edward,

It's been almost a month since Sam found me in the woods. The day you said those four little words "I don't want you." Who knew that those words could hurt as much as they do. Most days I can't find the strength to get out of bed, Charlie even has the doctors come to the house. I have only a memory of your face now to go along with the memories of everything else. I finally found someone that I couldn't be without. As long as you were close I felt safe. Someone to love and love me back. Those days are gone now. I mean who knows how many days anyone actually has anyway. Who needs love anyway, it really is over rated. It is after all just a four letter word.

Once the Keeper of Your Heart

Bella

Oct 12th

My Dearest Edward,

Another day, another hour, this is what I try to live for. If I can survive another hour then maybe I can get through another day. I've searched everywhere for my pictures of you but I can't find them anywhere. I can't even find my CD you made of my lullaby. Both items are just like me, They are lost. I guess it is just like you said "It will be as if I never existed". How could you leave me, how could you break your promise to me. The promise to love me always and to stay with me forever.

I had another nightmare again last night. We were standing in the woods not far from the house. I remember seeing you by the tree one minute and gone the next. I tried to find you, I searched desperately for hours. I screamed your name until I couldn't scream anymore. I kept trying to follow you through the wood but my legs would not carry me any further. I remember falling to the ground, falling as if it was in slow motion. As my body hit the ground, all my strength fled from me. It ran faster the the speed of sound. The will to get up again was gone. Everything was gone. I laid there hoping that you would see me there hurt and broken. Hoping that you would come back for me. Hoping that this was a nightmare and I would wake up to find you by my side telling me sweet nothing in my ear or humming my lullaby. But you never come back for me, no one came for me and I was truly alone. Flashes of people, lights of all colors and voices were all around me. I remember someone saying "She's okay" when I was far from okay. I will never be okay.

Then I wake up, I wake up to face another day knowing that you leaving me was not just a nightmare but a reality. Leaving me here to live out another day, another day in this journey called life.

~Bella,

Oct. 23rd

My Dearest Edward,

It's time for me to return to school again. I've tried a couple of times but I just end up coming home. School is a place I used to love, now it's a house of torture. Full of memories I can't run from know matter how much I try to escape them. I can still see you car in the parking lot. Memories of us in english class while watching romeo and Juliet. I know now how Juliet feels. How it feels to live without your hearts desire. Our walks to class and the kiss before class you left me with to hold me over until I could see your golden eyes again. These memories are everywhere, they haunt me just like my dreams. Dreams that used to be like heaven.

Slowly I have managed to piece together the events of that day. The day where my world stopped turning, the day where love died and my heart shattered. If only I could have been good enough for you. If only I . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .If Only.

Once the Keeper of your Heart

Bella

Oct 24th

My Dearest Edward,

Today was a rough day. I have completed my first day back to school. It was a very long and full of torture. Torture that I predicted but was hoping to escape. How I longed to be in the solitude of my room. Once again the memory of you and me is hard to escape. It's every where I go and there is no way to avoid it. I wrote this for you today in hopes that one day I will be able to do some of the things I wrote about. I don't regret knowing you or regret the times that we shared. I do however wish I would have had more time to spend with you. That I would mean just as much to you as you did to me. I wish I would have been enough.

Once the Keeper of your Heart

Bella

A/N the next chapter will have the Poems that go with A Broken Mind. Please Review and Hope you enjoyed.


	7. Forget

a/n This is another on of the poems I wrote in high school.

Oct. 15th

My Dearest Edward, I wrote this today, I am not doing any better than yesterday. All I can do is remember when I'm trying to forget.

Forget

Forget his name, his face, his kiss and warm embrace

Forget his love that once was true, Remember now theirs someone new.

Forget the love that you once shared and the fact that he once cared.

Forget all the time you had together, Remember now he's gone forever.

Forget how you cried all night when they play your song in the pale moonlight.

Forget how close you once were, Remember now he's just a blur.

Forget the first time he used the phone and time when you were all alone.

Forget the time he was mad, Remember he's happy now not sad.

Forget his gentle teasing ways and how you saw him every day.

Forget the things you planned to do Remember now there's nothing you can do.

Forget the way he made you cry or the thrills when he drove by.

Forget the way he spoke your name, Remember now things aren't the same.

Forget the way he held your hand and all the sweet things if you can.

Forget the way he loved you, Remember now his cold heart is ice blue.

Forget the time that went so fast, forget them all their just the past.

Forget he said "I love You", Remember now he's gone forever

Now go to your room, go to your bed, Hang down you long and weary head.

Forget the way he said good-bye Go ahead and try, try try.

Because as much as you try to Forget all you can do is remember.

So go ahead and cry, cry, cry.

Bella (jsw)

Hope you all are Enjoying the story, Review and let me know. Have a good day!!


	8. Ch 4: November and December

Here you go, heres what happens next.

Chapter 4: November and December

Nov. 3rd

My Dearest Edward,

I'm thinking of you again tonight. When am I not thinking about you is the question I should be asking myself. Halloween has passed, I watched all the children from my window. There was a doctor and a nurse, it brought back memories of Esme and Carlisle. I miss them so mush, they were like having another set of parents. The love they felt for each other was truly enchanting. It was a love I had hoped we would share with each other one day. Then there was a Pixie and A Solider Pixie, it was something that I could have seen Alice making Jasper wear. He would have done it too. He would have because he loved her and would do anything for her so she would be happy. Then there was a Beauty and a Beast, I thought of the movie at first. The story of a beautiful maiden who falls in love with the beast and ends up getting a prince. It totally describes Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett being the lovable beast and Rosalie being the spell binding beauty. They are a perfect example of how unique love can be.

I closed my curtains shortly after that, I couldn't watch anymore. Even things as simple as a Halloween costumes brings back the memories of you and the family I once knew. Knowing that Alice would have had a party, I couldn't help but wonder what we could have dressed up as. We could have been any romantic couple we wanted to be. You were my knight and shinning armor, I was once the fair maiden. My dearest Edward, I'm truly tired of being here. Surrounded by life's everyday fears, fears of what memory will come next. Better yet what will trigger that memory that is now a nightmare. I'm wishing you were here next to me but it is just a wish. May the tears I cry fill your heart with the pain I feel. Maybe then you will know what it feels like to be me, to be a human dying of a broken heart......

Nov. 16th

My Dearest Edward

Once again I'm thinking of you tonight. As the full moon shines through my window in yet another sleepless night you presence still lingers here. I can still feel your body next to mine, trying to imagine the look in your golden eyes as I run my fingers along your chest. Tracing every curve until my hand finds you face, then moves on to your hair. As I lay here in the middle of this sleepless night, memories of a lullaby and your warm arms wrapped around me humming me to sleep feel my mind. Oh how I wish that those memories were real once again.

There is just to much pain left behind and not enough time to heal. I've tried many times to convince myself your gone only to hope that you will return. I know that I need to move on and be strong for Charlie but I can't. I believe what we had was something more then a simple crush. I knew that I found of my dreams. But as i lay down in my bed ready for the nights dreams to come, dreams that were once pleasant. I drift slowly to sleep only to awake with screams flying from my mouth. Screams caused by the nightmares of the fateful day so long ago. The feeling of being alone is different than actually being along. In a way it is like you are forgotten about. I'm not for sure which one scares me more.

I wish you were here to wipe away these never ending tears, tears that come when I think of you. Your Voice. Your face. Your Touch. The warm embrace that makes my heart skip a beat when you hold me tight. Now you are like the light from a distant star, fading way slowly, along with the memory of you.

Once the keeper of your Heart

~Bella

Dec 4th

My Dearest Edward

I'm really hating the holiday's right about now. Charlie dragged me to the diner for Thanksgiving dinner. Then to make matters worse, everyone wanted to know how you were doing. Were they crazy, did they forget you left me. Quickly they would change the subject as glares escaped from my eyes. Once again I used the excuse of being tired to get away from the afternoon of football with the guys. Billie and Jacob came over to watch the games with charlie, something they've done for years according to charlie.

I'm hoping to skip the rest of the holidays. I'm not sure I can handle the Christmas holiday without you. To live with the memories of how I pictured us spending the holidays together are really painful, Now that I am spending them without you. Something that I never thought would happen, I never thought we would ever be apart.

~Bella

Dec 12th

My Dearest Edward

Nothing has changed, still no Edward, still alone. Still can't get the memories to leave, still missing you, still suffering from a broken heart. . . . . . I wish everything would go away. I wish I could hide under a rock. Can you die of a Broken Heart?

~Bella

Dec 24th

My Dearest Edward

Things are the same as they were yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Charlie will be working tomorrow. So I'm being forced to go to Billy's for Christmas dinner. "It's Billy's or jacksonville" I heard my dad tell my mom over the phone. I'm sure half the tribe will be there, which means plenty of couples. Lots and Lots of couples which I am sure they are going to hug and steal a kiss under the mistletoe. Why can the holidays be over already? Everywhere I look there are reminders of Love and Happiness. I am so over life.

~Bella

Dec 25th

My Dearest Edward

My Christmas Wish

I wish I may, I wish I might on this very lonely Christmas night, Have the wish I wish tonight. I wish with all my heart and all my might that I could have you in my sight. A wish I have wish once before, only to find myself alone once more. I have made my wish on the brightest star in hopes that the heavens above would let you return to me. A wish that lights up my face with glee. To wish to be happy, to be in your arms, to feel the love that was once true. Without you here my days are really blue. I wish I may, I wish I might have the dreams of us tonight. It would truly light up my Heart with pure delight. While greedily gazing into you enchanting eyes. The feeling of this being everlasting soon dies. It would be my Christmas wish if this would come true but know that the wish for you may never come true. Has made this day really blue.

Merry Christmas, My Dearest.

~Bella

December 31st

My Dearest Edward,

There is only an hour left before the New Year springs to life. The New Year brings hope and wishes of a better year. New goals will be set, new promise will be said and new diets to begin. I guess I will set new goals for myself. The olds ones are no longer valid. I will be stronger for Charlie, be the little girl he wants me to be. I will try to make it through the day without wanting to die because you are not here. I will try to forget you and the family that was almost my family too. I will try to start living again even if it is only a little steps at a time. May you and your family have a wonderful New Year.

~BellA

Hope you Enjoyed....coming soon Charlie finds the box.


	9. Ever Now and Then

Stephanie M. owns twilight, however the Poem Below belongs to me. Enjoy your reading

January 2.

My Dearest Edward

I wrote this today, I am truly hoping to begin living this way. To live the life without you. I have to hide the pain that I live in now. I have to live like you were never here. I have to live. I will have to act like I'm living even though I am slowly dying. Hopefully soon I will take my last breath soon so I will be at peace. I am tired of being tired, feeling like I am the one in the way. I am tired of life and the pain that comes with it.

Every Now and Then

I wrote you a letter sometime back,

I don't remember when.

I get it out and read it,

Every now and then.

You hadn't answered in a while,

And I said all I could say.

So, I didn't send it

I just put it away .

I put it with you picture,

In my dresser drawer ,

No, it doesn't hang

On the wall anymore.

I don't think about you all the time now.

Like I used to do.

I don't write you every day

And tell you how I'm doing.

Just every now and then

I wonder how it would be.

If things had been different

And you had stayed with me.

It still gets to me sometimes

But not like it did before

You see I promised myself

Not to let it hurt anymore.

I'm picking up the pieces now

And things are getting better .

Just every now and then

I have to read that letter .

I get it out and read it

I smile, then I cry.

Then I kiss your picture

And again, I say "good-bye"

Someday I'll be able

To say my last good bye,

I'll have more than memories

To get me through the night.

Then when I think about you,

Just every now and then.

It wont hurt and I wont cry

Or say "good-bye" again

I still come across your things

All around the house,

Things you carefully packed away

Things you carelessly lost.

I put them with you other things

And then I cry again

But not so often now

Just every now and then.

~Bella (jsw)

Please review, it make me smile. Enjoy you day.


	10. Ch 5 Charlie Find A Box

Just want to give everyone who reviewed or added my story to an alert. It really made my day! Thank

Stephenie Meyer all things Twilight.

Chapter 5 : Charlie finds the Box

Charlie POV

It's almost 2 in the morning and Bella is finally asleep. It wont be long before I go rushing up the stairs to make for sure she is okay. Over the past 3 months sleeping through the night is something unheard of in the Swan house. I miss my little girl, the one that smiled and laughed. The one who kept me line. Now she is hollow inside, she is like the walking dead. I would not dare speak hatefully of the Cullen's but that son...Edward. He broke my little girls heart and has made her empty inside. I knew I should have shot him when he came over that day for a little baseball. After all I could have justified it, I am the chief of police. My guns do require cleaning. One of them could have went off by accident. But to hurt Carlisle and Esme like that. It would be something I couldn't live with. I could never hurt them like that, to take away someone's child like that. I just couldn't do it. I will never understand how someone who proclaimed to love her, could leave her. How could he hurt someone with kindest, most purest of hearts.

Last night was a rare night, She either slept through the night or I didn't hear the screams. Screams that fill our house most nights of the week. I'm going fishing with Harry today to try to relax a little. I need a little break. I know that sounds bad but I need to regroup and think about how to reach Bella. To make her see that life can go on. I headed up stairs to get Bella for breakfast. Something that I had to start doing otherwise she would never leave her room. As I got closer to her room you could hear the shower going. Today may be a good day after all. Normally she would still be laying in bed starring out the window.

Something in her room caught my eye, There was a pile of broken CD's all around her trash, she also remove most of the picture off her walls. As I got a closer look, I couldn't help but think that this was her way of erasing anything that would remind her of him in the slightest way. As I began to walk back down stairs I stepped on a board that must have worked it way loose. When I began to inspect it closer the whole board came up. To my surprise there was a wooden box that was hidden there. The box was made out of cherry wood and had a glossy finish. On the top of the box was a heart that was split into two pieces. It looked just like a broken heart.

I took the box and quickly made my way down stairs. I couldn't for the life of me figure out if anything was their before. I hid the box quickly as I heard Bella come down the stairs.

"Morning Bells, how are you feeling today?"

"Okay" This is an answer I got from her each and everyday since he left.

I sat our plates down with today's attempt at breakfast. I was not good at cooking so breakfast normally consisted of cereal and milk with a side of half burnt toast. It's the best I could do.

"Have you made any plans for the day?" I asked this knowing that it would be the same answer I got yesterday.

"I haven't made any plans, I will probable just read?" I haven't seen her pick up a book in three months.

"I'm going fishing today with Harry, would you like to join us?"

"No, I'll be fine you should go, have fun."

I figured I would offer the invitation to come, however I already knew that she wouldn't even think about going. It kills me inside to think that I can't do anything for her to take her pain away. I wish I could take the sadness away from her.

I cleaned up everything as she walked back up to the solitude of her room. She will sit in the same rocking chair that she has sat in for the last 3 months and more than likely I will come home and find her still sitting in that chair. As I got everything ready to go fishing, the box I recently found was still calling my attention. I walk to the door with my fishing gear in one hand and the box in the other. "Bye Bells" I called out as I walked out the door.

I had every intention on going fishing with Harry today but found myself going in the opposite direction. I was headed to a spot just outside the city limits. Most of the time this is where I would come to eat lunch, this spot was quite and over looked a cliff. It was a very peaceful place. I called Harry and told him something came up at work and would have to reschedule for another time.

Once again my curiosity was taken me over, I had to know what was in this box. I opened the box and began to take everything out. To my surprise I realize that this was Bella's box. Did Bella hide this? There were pictures of her and Edward, a couple of CD's and letters. They were address to Bella for different member of the cullen family, including Edward. There was one that was taped to the bottom of the box, it was addressed to me. This couldn't be Bella's box, this box was from Edward. It had to be. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he would hide this from Bella. Confused even more now I decided to open the letter for me from Alice. I always liked her, she was a good kid and never got into any trouble. None of the Cullen children ever got into trouble.

_Dear Charlie,_

_ I know that you have a lot of questions and most of them can not be answered at this time. I hope everything is as well as it can be. The contents of this box are items Edward hid form Bella. These all belonged to Bella at one time, all except the letters. They were hidden from her in effort to help her forget. However he didn't have the heart to take them away form her so he hid them here. He hide them in hopes of one day many years from now she would stumble across them. _

_ There are things I cant tell you, secrets that must remain sealed. It has to be that way...it is safer that way. We as a family love Bella very much including my very stubborn and stupid brother. Please forgive him. He really never meant to hurt Bella but he has a problem. His problem is he listen to his mind more than his heart. He truly love Bella in every way possible to love a person. He just feels it is safer to leave Bella than to stay around. Edward believes this is the only way to protect her. He truly loves her and puts her safety before anything else. Bella brought so much happiness to the family, she was truly a pleasure to be around. Edward doesn't know I put these letters in here so please keep my secret. Please trust me when I say this. We never meant to hurt Bella, She was part of our family. She was my best friend. _

_ What you do with this box is you choice but please consider giving Bella the letter from the family and Edward. It would mean the world to us if she knew that we love her and shall miss her dearly. I wish I could say more and make everything better but I can't at this moment. I miss you both more than you can imagine. Please take care of each other and hopefully I will see you soon._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Alice Cullen_

Three hours later I finished reading everything. Clearly the Cullen's really didn't want to leave, but they did. I dont understand how carlisle would do this to his family. Shocked is an understatement on how I'm feeling at this point. I don't think Bella can handle reading these letters right now, I dont think she can handle anything right now. I fear if she was to read them I would loose my daughter completely to grief. That is something that I cant handle. I was hoping with the holiday's she would perk up and get back to being the old Bella. However she is still the same. I have to have hope that things will turn around soon and she will be her old self again.

Hope you all enjoy the story so far. Let me know what you think!


	11. Ch 6: Cullen Family Letters

Thanks to everyone for the story alerts and reviews. They really do mean alot to me. Stephenie Meyer own all thing twilight.

Chapter 6 :Letters from the Family

These are the letters that Charlie found the the box from Edward. These are the Cullen Family Letters.

_My Dear Bella,_

_ I hope all is well my dear. I know our departure was very sudden and unexpected. At the request of our son Edward we decided to leave Forks. Please understand it was a hard descision to make, one that had lots of discussion behind it. Carlisle and I tried to convince him to stay, but he blames him self for the events that happened on your birthday. For the pain he brought on you and the family. He feels that it is his job to protect you first then love you. I know deep down in the deepest part of my heart that he loves you and this is going to be hard for him. It will be hard on the both of you, however you both with be together again. _

_ We moved at his request because he has done it for us many time before in the past. Each time he has never complained. It pains me to know that you are left alone to deal with the pain of our departure and the pain of loosing Edward. For that I'm truly sorry, I have always considered you as one of my daughters. You brought happiness to our family that has been missing for years. Please know that I speak for both Carlisle and I When I say that we are truly grateful for the kindness and love you showed our family. That is something that we do not get often. We are extremely grateful for the happiness you brought to our home and the happiness you brought to Edward. _

_ We will try not to be gone long and I need you to stay strong. We are trying to explain to Edward the reason why moving back to Forks is right for the family and for him. Until then, please do this for me, please remember the good times. The times filled with happiness and love. We will return as soon as we can. _

_Love_

_Esme and Carlisle Cullen _

_Hey Bella, _

_ I miss you already. I'm not for sure if we are ever coming back to Forks. I'm desperately waiting for the vision to appear. I know I will see you again and if I have to run away in protest so the family comes back to Forks I will. I really liked it in Forks, I had a Best Friend. Please forgive me for leaving the way I did but it was my stupid brothers fault. I mean Edward. He wouldn't let me see you before we left. I love my brother dearly but right now I am very upset with him. I understand his reasons to a point but then I don't understand them at all. I don't thing I could ever do anything like he is doing right now. _

_ I've been around for years and met hundreds of people. There was a kindness you gave to us that know one has every done before. You treated us like we were normal. It was really nice to feel normal even if it was only for a little while. I will always treasure the friendship we had and you will always be my best friend. Take care of yourself until I can convince my stupid brother to realize how crazy he is being right now. I will see you as soon as i can. _

_Love you always_

_Alice _

_P.S. Jasper sends his love and is sorry for everything. He has been beating himself up pretty bad but I have told him that it wasn't his fault and that you forgive him. Emmett is starting to scare me and rosalie think he has lost his mind. He keeps trying to duck tape Edward to the wall until he changes his mind. He has even thrown darts at him a couple of times. I think he is depressed. Rosalie even misses you, she wont admit it but I know she dose. I promise I will not let you down and I promise I will not give up until I get this fixed. _

_Hey there Kiddo, _

_ I am not for sure what I am supposed to say, I'm not even sure what I am supposed to do right know. You know it is bad when I can't even play my video games. Rose can't even get me to smile. I know I said that we would always be around and I truly thought we would. I have to have faith that things will get back to normal. _

_ In Effort to get things back to normal I have decided to torment Edward. These are my plans, Hopefully I do not have to use them. I could play darts and use him as the target. I could duck tape him to the walls. I will sing "It's a Small World" for days. I will only call him "Eddie". I will think of other things to do to him. _

_ I will help Alice and the rest of the family make things right and you are happy again. I know that it is hard but stay strong and I will see you again real soon. _

_Love you always Little Sister_

_Emmett Cullen _

_(Your Teddy Bear of a Big Brother)_

_P.S. Rosalie said to tell you that Edward's favorite car is a 20,000 piece puzzle and that she misses you._

_Please review and let me know what you all think. Next chapter will be the letter Edward left in the box. _


	12. Ch 7: GoodBye Bella

I'm Soooooooooooooooo Sorry Guys I updated the wrong chapter. So Here is Edward's Letter to Bella. Enjoy!!

Chapter 7:Edwards GoodBye

Charlie POV

I had a ton of questions and I was bond to get answers. I wanted to know what Bella got herself into. Did she know their secrets? I know that the letter I am about to read should be private and I do feel bad. I am about to read it anyway, I know I shouldn't but I need answers to help me help Bella.

_My Dearest Bella_

_By the time you find this I will be gone. I hope by reading this you understand how truly sorry I am for leaving you and how much you mean to me. I loved you with all of my heart. To tell you "I Love You" is something I beg you to believe. I beg you to believe me when I say I'm sorry but I lied to you . It was truly the only option I had , my only way to protect you. I failed you in so many ways. I failed to protect when james almost took you away from me and even now in failing to protect you from Jasper I failed to protect you from myself._

_The night that Japer attacked you was truly the worst moment of my life. In trying to protect you I harmed you more. I was the one that hurt you. I was the one who cause you pain. I was the one who took your precious smile away._

_I will always love you and I have carried the weight deep down in side my heart that I never truly deserved you. Your kindness, warm heart, caring ways. I could never figure out how someone so kind could ever love a monster like me. In knowing my darkest secrets and my weakness you still loved the man in me not the monster I know you haver always questioned how i could love someone so "Plain"...Bella let me assure you.....You are far from plain, your amazing. You have wonderful brown hair that curls in all the right place. Your eyes are like the sweetest chocolate. I get lost in your eyes when ever I look into them. When your heart beats it is like a symphony to my ears. And that smile of yours warms my heart. I could never understand how you could love me but I'm truly grateful that you did. I never knew true love until I meet you. It took me for ever to find you, to find my first love._

_The decision to leave you is the hardest decision I've sever had to make. In order to protect you I have to leave you. While I'm close to you all the love in my body can't protect you. I can't protect you from the greatest threat of all.....ME. I found that out on your Birthday. When I tell you I'm sorry for the pain this will cause and hope it doesn't take you long to mend a broken heart I left you with. Please understand when I told you I didn't want you I lied. I'm so sorry but I had to lie in order for you to believe me. I knew if I looked into your eyes I would have never been able to leave. I wouldn't have been strong enough to pull it off. To hear you say that you weren't "Good Enough for me" killed me. Bella, I'm not good enough for you. I was never good enough. I can only say that I love you and hope in time you will forgive me. I've waited my entire life to love someone, to find find happiness and joy. Please find happiness in knowing you gave me something I have searched a life time for. I wish you the best in life, love and in finding happiness._

_I would love nothing more than to run up to you and grab you tight in my arms never to let you go again. To tell you that I love you and offer you the world. Listen to your heart skip a beat while kissing your soft lips. to have you lay next to me in love's warm embrace. I will miss looking into your amazing chocolate brown eyes and wondering what is going through that mind of yours. I will cherish every memory I have of us and every ounce of you love you gave me._

_My Dearest Bella, I'm so sorry I have hurt you and broke my promise in more than one way. I would give anything to see you smile again. Please forget me, please erase all of you memories of me. Make it as if I never existed. Please live your life to the fullest, please be safe. Knowing that you are alive and well is the only thing_

_I'll have left, the only thing that keeps me alive. I love you my beautiful Bella. I always have and always will._

_Good-Bye My Dearest Bella_

_Edward A. Cullen_

Hope you all enjoyed, please send a smile my way and review. Until next time.


	13. Ch 8: A Day to Forget

S. Meyer owns all twilight, I only own the poems and the plot. Okay guys, you may want to find the tissues. This is where the story get really deep.

Chapter 8: A Day to Forget

**Bella's POV**

It's February 10th, I'm sitting in English wishing that things were normal again. It's been a little over 4 month since Edward left me. Even though it still feels like it was only yesterday. I have kept my promise, a promise made to myself, a promise to stay strong and pretend life is great. When reality I'm slowly dying on the inside, I can't seem to get things together. Maybe this is what life is about, heartache and pain. Who knows! At least it's friday, that is about the only good thing about the day. Jake and Billie are coming over to watch the game tonight. It's becoming a tradition, loud noises, cheering and popcorn throwing. Most of the time it is completely insane the way they carry on. You would think that they were children.

Just like any other day in school the ringing of the bell brings me out of the endless thoughts that run through my head. I throw my books in my locker and headed out to my truck. I think that I will make Lasagna for dinner tonight. Today seemed to be different, I couldn't figure it out but it was different. I decided to stop by the store and get everything that I would need to make dinner because once I was home I was not coming back out. The weather was really nasty today. Come to think of it, it has been nasty for the last 3 days. As I entered the store there were balloons, flowers and candy everywhere and everything was decorated in reds and pinks. Oh right, Valentines day was in a couple of days. I must have forgot, LOVE is after all really over rated anyway. One day you have the love of your life looking deep in your eyes, where you feel that it is only the two of you in this world and then the next you have nothing. Well enough about that I thought as I finally finished my shopping and headed to the house.

As I turned down the street that my house was on I began to get this really sick feeling. I couldn't get it to go away. I grabbed my shopping bags and went into the house. I noticed Charlie's crusier in the driveway, He was home early. I wasn't to surprised as he has been sick for the last couple of days. Maybe that is why I was feeling sick. As I made my way into the house and to the kitchen what was laying in front of my was something that I never would have imagined. The bags crashed to the ground as I ran over to my fathers side.

"DAD" I screamed

DADDY, are you okay" I said as I rolled him over "CHARLIE.....DAD........DADDY....Wake up, can you hear me"

I finally got him to roll over and knew then that my dad was gone. He was all different shades of purple and blues. His lips and ears were a dark purple and his face was a blueish color. His body laid at the bottom of the stairs as if fell down them. He wasn't breathing, he wasn't moving, he wasn't alive. His body was like a dead weight as I desperately tried to figure out how to get him to breath. I kept screaming at him to wake up but nothing happened. I'm not for sure what happened next as tears flowed down my face followed by darkness.

**Jacob's POV**

We got to Bella's house about 30 minutes early and out of nowhere you hear this blood curtling scream

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........DADDY.........NOOOOOOOO.......! I ran into the house as fast as I could and found Bella laying over charlie with tears falling like rain from her eyes. The scene before me was that out of a movie. Bella was laying on Charlie's stomach with her hand balled into a fist pounding on chest right over his heart. She kept on saying " please come back to me, daddy wake up, you can't leave me like this, I need you. Please Daddy." She said this over and over again.

Bella I called out

Jacob, he wont wake up, I need him to wake up. I think that he is D...Dead. Make him wake up. Please make him wake up." I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 as fast as I could.

"911 is this an Ememgency" the operater said

"Yes, It looks like the chief fell and he is not moving and.....and....I think he is D...D...Dead" I spoke as quickly as I could.

"Is this Chief Swan residence" she asked

"Well who else do we call Chief in this town, I need some help at his house now." I screamed

"I'm Sorry, Help is on it way. Can you tell me if he is breathing?"

"um.. No he is a varitey of blues and purples" all I heard on the other end was "Oh My God" and then I heard the sirens in the back ground and hung up on the lady as she was talking.

It seemed like every cop, fire fighter and amblence was coming down the road. I went to Bella as they all came rushing into the the house. The was every kind of noise coming from every direction possible. The rushing of feet, voice of people trying to get a response from Charlie. But nothing happened.

"Bella, Honey we have to move out of the way. We need to let them work." I said this a couple of times trying to get Bella to move. Every time I got the same response.

"No, He needs me, I can't leave him. I need him to wake up.....If he hears me then he will wake up I just know it." she said through her tears. I was pushed out of the way as the fire marshal grabbed onto Bella. I had to step back waiting for him to bring Bella to me and watch the site that was unfolding before me.

I had to watch as the fire marshal picked up bella, it took everything I could to stand aside and wait for him to get her closer to me. She fought the marshal with everything she had, it ripped my heart out to watch her scream and fight to get back to Charlie's side. Finally she was in my arms with tears still coming out of her beautiful brown eyes. I stood in the living room trying to comfort Bella the best that I could, what do you say to someone in this kind of situation. As I held onto a hystarical Bella we watch for 15 min. as they all worked non stop to bring Charlie back. People were screaming his name and other words like clear and charge. Still nothing worked, he still laid there lifeless. I saw Doctor Grady come in and I knew then that it was final, it was over. He slowly walked up to Charlie with tears in his eyes he checked for a heart beat. He pulled out his styescope and checked, he checked for a pulse, hell he check for everything. He finally said what everyone know was coming.

"Chief Charlie Swan is pronounce dead at his home on Feb. 10, 2007"

Everyone just stood there silent when Bella broke us out of our trance with a scream that bought chills to your bones.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO................I.....I....I can't......Jacob it.....it's to much....my....my heart.......it h..h...hurts" and with that she was limp in my arms. As blackness to over her body, fear took over mine. All I could think about as I carried her up to her room and laid her in her bed was here was this woman, so shy, so caring, so beautiful. Who's heart is completely broken now first with Edward and now with Charlie. How could something like this happen to Bella, someone who would help you first before she would help her self. What was I going to do?

I went down stairs to make my way out side, as I stood next to my father and the other members of the people who made up this town. I watch them bring Charlie out of the house on a strecher. They covered him in a white sheet and his jacket was laid over the top of him. I watch as they loaded him into the amblulance and drove away. The site in front of me was all the same, everyone had red eyes from their tears. I watched as Bella lost her father, I watched how my father lost a long time friend and while I lost a second dad. I watched how a town lost a Chief. To say we were sad could not be enough, we were lost.

Doctor Grady came up to me and handed me something that he found in Charlie's hand. He told me that Bella may be out for a few hours to keep an eye on her that she may still be in shock when she wakes up. If she get too bad to just give him a call and he would come over. Slowly everyone left and Billie and I went into the house and waited for Bella to wake up. Billie made a few calls so that the news of Charlie would get around in La Push.

"Jacob what did Doctor Grady give you?" My dad asked.

"It is a note from Charlie." I told him and them I read what it said.

"I Love You Bells, I'm Sorry. Love Daddy"

* * *

Okay guys let me know what you think. Review and bring a smile to my face.


	14. Ch 9: A Swan's Passing

Hello Everyone, Thanks for all the great reviews. Just to give everyone the heads us the POV's will be changing a couple of times. I will let you know and it will only be between two people. I hope you all enjoy

S. Meyers owns all things twilight.

Chapter 9: A Swan's Passing

Bella's POV

I woke up the next morning feeling like I've just been hit by a truck. I was completely exhausted, my eyes hurt and with the light that was shinning through my window it made them hurt even more. My body ached from head to toe. As I laid in my bed the events from the day before slowly appeared. Everything was like a dream right now, this is not happening, it can't be. A knock at my door made me come back to reality.

"Come in dad"

"Bella, It me Jacob. May I come in?"

"Sure"

As Jacob walked in the look on his face and in his eyes told me everything was indeed real and not a dream as I had hoped it to be.

"Please tell me everything was a dream, it wasn't real it couldn't be real." I pleaded with Jacob as tears began fall once again.

"I'm afraid not, I wish I could but I can't. Bells, It's been two days. You scared the hell out of me. Dr. Grady is down stairs with dad and needs to talk to you. Bella, I will be here as long as you need me to be."

"I know Jacob, I'm sorry I scared you. I will be down in a minute."

Slowly I got out of bed and slowly made my way down to the living room. I passed the kitchen it was empty and the coffee was not made yet. In the living room my dad's chair was empty and the cruiser was still in the drive way where he parked it last night. I sat down in my dad chair and looked around and that is when everything was crystal clear. My dad was dead and I was now alone in this cruel world. I was the next of ken, it was now my responibility to take care of everything. How am I going to do this.

Bella, I'm Doctor Grady, how are you doing dear." What a question to ask. How was I doing? Was he really asking me that question.

"How do you think I am...My Father just DIED and you are asking stupit questions. Why are you here and what do you need?" I know I should have been nicer but I couldn't. I feel lost and I now have so much to consider, to much do. I really don't know where to start.

"I'm sorry for your lose Bella. However I came by to talk to you about the proceedures that happen in a sudden death cases. With you dad being the Chief these are required." He had a very strange look on his face as if he was about to say something that would break me.

"Okay what are they."

"Well for starters your dad was the Chief for 22 years. It is customary for the town to take care of the arrangements of the Chief. We as a town would be honored if you would allow us to do this. We would of course like to know what you would like and how you would want it to be handled. We are offering to get everything together for you. May we have the honor?"

"umm...Okay, If it is normal for the town to do this then you have my permission. I'm not for sure what I would like. We never talked about this before. I always thought my dad would be here with me forever. He liked the outdoors alot and I think that he should wear his jacket. He was always in his jacket. I would want something nice. I would want something small but it would not be fair to the town and his friends. Charlie never meet a person he didn't like. I would like to have a small amount of time to myself with him before everyone else if that is okay." I don't know why I was asking, he was after all my father. " was there anything else that you needed." The look on the Dr. face said that there was.

"Yes, there are requirement that we have to do and we have to have your signature because you are the next of ken. We have to do an adtopsey to make for sure that our findings are correct and there was no foul play. We have to make for sure you father was not murdered."

"MURDERED, are you kidding me. who would want to kill my father. I can't take this, not now. I just lost my father and now I have to know that you will cut him up to......to...." I couldn't even finish my thought. I was so mad that I couldn't event think straight. I stood up quickly to get away, I remember feeling very dizzy, I remember people calling my name and Jacob running toward me. As I felt myself falling my world was crashing all around me and everything went black once again.

Jacob's POV

I could tell Bella was getting close to her breaking point. I have seen this before when Edward left. This time it was worse. When Dr. Grady said that charlie could have been murdered that was the final straw. Bella stood up to leave the room and before I knew it she was falling to the ground.

"Bella......" I screamed out while running to catch her with Dr. grady behind me.

"Bella...Bella can you hear me. Please wake up....come on look at me." I pleaded with her to wake up but just like last time it was not going to happen. I carried her up to her room and put her to bed. Dr. Grady came up and checked on her. He said she would be fine and had just blacked out because of all the stress and shock of loosing Charlie. I only hope she would be fine. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could do something.

Bella P.O.V.

We had to wait a week before we could lay Charlie to rest. The past week was fuzzy, I know there were a lot of people coming and going. People left flowers at the door and at the station. They really were everywhere. I swear I had a card from everyone that lived in this town and then some. To be honest I really just wanted to be left alone. The results of the audtopsy showed that Charlie died of an anursium, aka a blood clot. Doctor Grady said that it came up from his knee and travel quickly up to his heart. It got stuck in his wind pipe and sufficated him. In the process he also suffered from a massive heart attack. Dr. Grady said that it is normal in for people to have to have heart attacks in cases like Charlie. He said that Charlie wouldn't have suffered and didn't feel any pain...he went quickly. I find that hard to believe but who am I to question him. I'm just an18 years old who is still in high school. Now at this moment...I feel complete lost. First I lost Edward and now I lost my father. Jacob tried to get ahold of my mother and still she has not called. She has not called in months, I think that I have only talked to her a total of 3 times since I have moved to Forks. I guess once I left she kinda forgot that I existed. No surprised there.

Its been 8 days since I saw my fathers face. Eight day since I saw him smile up over the morning news paper at me when I came down for breakfast. Eight days since I heard him say " I'll be home soon Bells". "Bells" my nickname that he gave me since before I can remember . I sat at the kitchen table waiting for the limo to come something that I tried to say was unnessarary but they said it was normal. My mom is not coming, I'm not even sure the reason anymore. I kinda tuned her out when she sounded like she was more interested in the party then me. Jacob said he would meet me there.

Since I was the only family Charlie had we opted out of a private viewing and just had one for the public. That was last night, I went early and said my good-byes. I had Jacob bring me home afterwards. Jacob went back and joined his father and represented me. I couldn't handle the whole TOWN of forks again. The sympothy, well wishes, candle, tears, flowers, little bears in police uniforms and the look of pity in everyones eyes as they looked at me. I am slowly breaking all over again, slowly falling to piece again. A loud knock at the door broke me out of my thoughts.

"Hello" I said as I opened the door

" Good Morning Miss Swan. I'm Anthony, I'll be you driver for the day. Are you ready Miss.

"Yes"

That was the only word I could get out he held out his arm so he could escort me to the limo. I grab my purse and headed to the church I was surprise to see 2 motercycles giving us an escort to the church.

We pulled up to the church, I shouldn't have been surprise but there were car and people everywhere. The limo pulled up behind a big parade of police cars, fire trucks, amblulance, park rangers and state troopers. I sat there not wanting to get out, not wanting to go in. If I went in then it was real, there was no going back. It would be forever. I don't think I can do this, I'm not strong enough to go on. To be truly alone. Who would love me now?

"Bella, it's time" Jacob had my door already opened.

"Sorry Jake, I didnt realize you were there"

"It's okay, I'm here to help you get through this, so is Billie and half the guys from La Push. Bella you are family, were there for our family." he said as he held out his hand to help me out of the car.

Carlisle once said that to Rosalie about me. He said I was family but he left me to and they were not here now. If I was family they would have come or you would have thought they would have called. I can't think about that right now, it would truly send me over the edge.

I was escorted inside up to the very 1st row. There were people everywhere, there were thousands of eyes starring at me. I knew what they were thinking "Poor Little Bella" I just had to remember to breath and soon everything would be over. I sat in the middle of Jacob and Billie and waited for the service to begin. The Paster came up to me shook my hand and told me he was ready to begin.

I looked in the direction of the coffin which was very beautiful. It was made out a cherry wood with gold handles. Each corner there was a gold chiefs badge engraved into the coffin. There were Blue white and yellow roses everywhere along with pictures.

At my request Renee was to be left out. As I scanned through the pictures I saw a picture of me and Charlie when I was a baby, then when I was about 12, I was at the station sitting on his desk wearing his jacket and police hat. They were so big on me, I remembered that day actually he called me his little "Police Chief Princess in training." Then the picture we took about two weeks after I moved back to forks. I decided that I would help in get all his new fishing gear together. After about the third time I stabbed myself in the finger with the hooks he told me I could just sit there and suppervise. He had the same smile and sparkle in eyes in every picture we took together.

The service was about an hour long. The mayor spoke, the fire marchell, a few other people and then Billie got up there. He told stories of the good times, the bad times, and everything else in between. Next was my turn, I slowly got up and made my way to the stage next to my dad.

" Dear Daddy,

I'm Sorry that I couldn't be there to help you. To tell you that I loved you. I hope you know that I really do love you. Thank you for helping me in every way I needed you. I will remember the stories you told me as a child. I will never forget how you chased the monsters away when I was little. I will never forget how you made taught me to ride my bike and kissed my scraped up knees or elbow when I fell more than once. You held my hand when I needed you to, gave me comfort when I was sad or scared. You stayed up with me when I was sick or had nightmares. You were everything that a little girl needed and more. You were my daddy and I was you little girl. How I wish you were here. How I wish you knew how much I will miss you, How I wish I could have told you "I love you" one more time. I'll miss you." With that I sat down and cry even more tears.

Now it was beginning to get scary as I sat down I realized we were going to be leaving soon to go to the graveyard. Que the tears again, I've cried so much I'm even sure how I can keep my eyes open at this point. As the service ended I knew I needed to stay strong for a little while longer. I knew I would fall apart as soon as I was home, alone and safe in my room. We headed out of the church, I was immedetately surrounded by people and news reporters. I grabbed onto Jacob's arm for dear life as he tried to get me into the limo as quickly as he could.

"I'll see you shortly" he assured me as he went to get Billie.

"Miss Swan" Anthony said " We will be leaving shortly. Can I get you anything?

"No, No Thank you"

We sat there for about 20 minutes. Our motercade started with two motercycles, Charlie's police crusier, the hurse, another police crusier, then my limo. We were given the standard police escort through town to Fork's Cemetary. When we pulled in we made our way to the back by the creek. The place they had set up was surrounded by trees. It was truly the perfect spot for Charlie.

Once again I was lead to my set by Jacob. As the firefighters brought charlie caskette over I felt the tears coming as they put him over a large hole. There was another short service followed by a 21 gun solute. That was it.....the final breaking point. If this was a dream I would have woke up by now. As everything became clearer I could feel the panic attack coming. This was truly the end. My father was in that coffin, the coffin that was sitting right in front of me. It was taking him away from me. taking him away from me forever. The only person who ever truly loved me was now gone forever. Without thinking I got up and walked over to Charlie and laid a single red rose on top of his coffin. Tied around the rose was a silver swan charm. I said my last goodbye but I couldn't make my feet move away from him. I'm not quite for sure what happened after that. I remember hearing screams as the darkness took over yet again.

Jacobs POV

Trying to stay strong for bella was hard as I tried to fight away my own tears. Here's was this wonderful young woman who lost her father. She lost the closet person to her, the only person left who loved her the way a parent should. Her mother was in many cases useless. She finally called Bella about four days after Charlie's death. She was in Vegas, her and Phil were celebrating something. I could hear her laughing at the other end while bella tried to tell her about Charlie. Finally Bella gave up and handed me the phone and walked up stairs to her room. I told renee what happened to Charlie and she said that she was really busy and didn't want to ruin the celebration with a funeral. That's when I hung up on her. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Bella went up to the coffin while the pastor was saying a few last words. She laid a single red rose on top, tied to the rose was a silver swan charm. I was told that it was a tradition in the family, it was to symbolize a Swan's Passing. I remember Charlie telling me that he name her Bella so he could call her his beautiful swan. Then she started sobbing uncontrollable. My heart broke even more as I watched her fall apart.

"Please daddy, don't leave me. come back. I need you. I really do need you." she begged through her tears.

She screamed out once again "I need you Daddy" I could tell that was her breaking point. I got up to walk over to her just in time to catch her. She laid in my arms out cold, tear stained her face from her crying. I picked up her limp body and carried her to the limo. Billie told me he would catch a ride with Paul. When I got up to the limo Dr. Grady said he would meet me at the house. Anthony took us to bella's house and I carried her up stairs to her bed. As I laid her down and covered her up. I kept trying to figure out how am I going to help her put her heart back together. When your heart is made of glass and is already broken, how do you put it back together when it is sharttered into pieces. Pieces so small they look like sand.

Okay Guys tell me what you think. Reviews are nice and brings smile to my face. I will update soon. Enjoy!!


	15. Ch 10: A Pixie's Tantrum

A huge THANKS to everyone who reviewed. To the ones of you that pointed out a few of my mistakes, thank you. I just want to explain that I am working with two different programs. It is the only way that I get to update on here. I know that is not a good reason but please bare with me. Thank you all again. All review are welcomed, It Helps me get better. As we all know the wonder S. Meyer owns Twilight.

I want to give another shout out to Butterflybetty, With out her help I would haven't have ever figured out a way to post my story. Thanks again. By the way if you haven't checked out any of her stories, you should. There really good!

Chapter 10: A Pixie Tantrum

Alice's POV

Well to say I've had enough of the non sense that's going on around the Cullen house is an understatement. Emmett and Rosalie are at each other throats all the time. Last time they got into a really bad argument was over the TV show they were watching. Something to do with Surviver and the rules. It did not end well Rose didn't speak to or stay in the same room as Em did for two weeks. Em was mad but he missed having Rose around. They finally made up only to get into another argument the next day.

Carlisle and Esme are growing apart. They were the perfect example of how true love really is, their love was picture perfect. Now they barely speak to each other and when they do you can tell there is tension between them. I know they still love each other but it's almost as if they are meeting for the first time. Carlisle has not gone back to work and is claiming that he needs to catch up on the latest medical technology and techniques. We all know that it is untrue, he can't go back to work because he can't give it his full attention. Esme has thrown herself into her work. She has designed about 13 massive houses. They are detailed designs, I have to say they are some of them are her best work yet. Then at night for about 6 hours she will crochet, she said that she has to keep her hands busy. She has made us soooooo much stuff that it is not even funny. She has even made Bella stuff in hopes that one day everything will be normal again.

Edward left shortly after we got up to Vancouver, he has been gone now for about 3 1/2 months now. It been about two weeks since he has checked in and last time he was not doing well. He promised Esme that he would not go to the Volturi and so far he has not changed his mind. However from the sounds of things and the visions that I've had he is completely going crazy with guilt and worry. He has completely given up. He's just not doing well at all. He stopped feeding and according to my visions he really doesn't leave the lake house in Yellowstone. Not feeding will eventually put in what we call a deep sleep, it is almost as if it is dying a slow death. However your not dead but you are too weak to walk, lift up your arm or even open you eyes.

As for me and Jazzy, well lets just say the things are not well. His guilt and my grumpiness are not a good combo. And when you put that together with all the other emotions in the house things are just a little crazy. We don't fight like Em and Rose do, we just don't talk. It's been 3 months since he has held me close and told me he loves me. It's been 4 day since he has been home. I love him deeply and I know he loves me but I'm not for sure how much longer we can handle this. I wish I knew how to make things better. Better for us, our family and for Bella. I am on the verge of throwing a tantrum.

As I grabbed my keys and headed out the door to the florist I didn't bother leaving a note. No one would notice that I left anyway. Buying flowers was about the only shopping that I've been doing lately, it seem to calm me down a little. There was a strange feeling that I couldn't shake off. I hate when I get them, normally they mean trouble is on the way. Like that is what this family needs now.

Jasper's POV

I finally came home if I stayed gone any longer I'm sure that Alice would kill me. This time I was only gone for four days, last time when I was gone for 6 days the looks death were enough to be scared of my little pixie. Even though she didn't say much the anger coming off of her was enough for me to know that I was in deep trouble. I don't deserve a wife like Alice. I've caused her and my family so much pain over the years. I'll never forget the looks on my family face when the realization hit me of what I did. I couldn't stand to be around them, their emotions were enough for me to want to run as far away as I could. But I couldn't, I couldn't leave Alice behind. I would love to just hold her like I used to, we would just stare in each other eyes and all our love could be explained without words. I know she loves me but if we were human I'm sure we would be headed for a divorce by now.

The night of Bella's birthday still haunts me. I will never forget he looks on Emmett's, Rose, and Esme face as they dragged me out of the house. As soon as the clean night air hit me, as well as everyone emotions, I ran. How could I almost kill Bella, Edward true love, his mate. How could I do that to my brother. I have done so well over the last 30 years, even though I didn't taste, Bella is the first person I have gone after in 30 years.

I was half way to seattle when I fell to the ground consumed with my own anger and grief for what I had just done. It wasn't long until Alice found me. She just held me and told me everything would be alright. She kept telling me that Bella wasn't made at me and that she understood. My beautiful little pixie told me she loved me over and over again. She finally was able to get me to come home. As we made our way to the house Edward was waiting for me on the stairs. I knew he was going to kill me, I knew I would kill me.

FLASHBACK

"Are you okay Jasper" he asked. Did those worlds just come out of his mouth. I couldn't believe he just asked me of all the people if I was okay.

"No" I said "Look Edward, I'm so very sorry You know I would never try to hurt Bella, I don't know what..."

"Stop Jazz, I now you didn't mean it, but it happened. There was a reason why it happened, I didn't want to see it before but I do now." He sounded so defeated.

"Edward...NO..You Can't" Alice shouted at him " You Can't do this, You can't mean it, You just can't do that to Bella. It will kill her Edward, She will never be able to understand or forget."

" I have to...."

I quickly came back to reality when I heard Alice's car come down the drive way.

"Alice, darling, where have you been?" I asked her as she came inside the house.

"I went to the florist, don't start with me today Jasper. I've been gone for three hours, you've been gone for four days'" She was mad, I should have asked a different question.

"I was worried Alice, that's all. Are you okay."

"No, I'm tired of everything that is going on around this house, I'm tired of the fighting, the long faces, everything. I'm tired of the way we are and if I saw Edward right now I would probably light the match myself. I keep thinking about how things were supposed to be and this is not it. We were all supposed to happy." Her words kept playing over and over again in my head.

"Darling, It will work out, it always dose." With she turned around and headed back outside. "Alice, do you need help?"

She shouted back "No" and I walked slowly in the living room. I had just got seated when there was a loud crash in the dinning room. I raced back into the dinning room only to find Alice on the floor. She laid there curled up in a ball surrounded by glass and flowers, her hands were on her head as whimper came from her mouth. The amount of pain she was in was overwhelming,

"Alice" I cried out as I kneeled down to pick her up. As I began to pick her up she let out an earth shattering scream.

"Noooooo........This can't happen..........Not Charlie."

Alice POV

My vision was something that I have never experienced before. I held on to my husband for dear life as tear flowed from my eyes. I had to try to understand what I saw. To say that I was scared was not true. I was terrified and I didn't understand what was going on.

"Alice Please" jasper pleaded again.

"Get Em and Rose here NOW." I demanded "Carlisle you need to call Doctor Grady and ask about Charlie"

About twenty minutes later Em and Rose came into the living room followed by Carlisle not far behind them. I saw the grim look on his face and knew my vision was true.

Alice would you like to tells us what you saw. With that I knew I had to tell them, when Carlisle sat beside Esme I began to tell them what I saw.

"I saw bella, she's crying and looks awful. She is dressed in black and getting into a black limo, she's alone. There are two police cars, as well as other emergency vehicles around her limo. She's at a church and Bella is crying harder now, she's still alone. Now I see Charlie, he's dressed in the chiefs uniform. There are flowers and pictures everywhere around a beautiful casket. Charlie has died, he's dead isn't he Carlisle?" I needed him to be wrong, I wanted him to be wrong.

"I'm afraid so, Charlie passed away almost a two weeks ago and his funeral is today."

"That's why I didn't see us there, I need to go to her, she needs us. We can't just sit here."

We've kept our distance this long and it may be better that we continue to stay away. I know it's hard but I think it's for the best. I've told dr. Grady to call me if things get to bad." Carlisle said with a voice of pure sadness.

"It's not right, she needs us and we need her. She Family Dammit, we are supposed to be there for our family." I screamed at them as I got up to go to my room. When I got to the top of the stairs I could feel Jasper coming up behind me as polite as I could I told him "Please Leave me alone, Please just go away. You haven't wanted me for three months why try to be there for me now." Words I never thought I would be able to say to him. I know that I just caused him more pain but I couldn't be around him right now.

It's been about two weeks since I had my tantrum. I don't have many but I was truly upset. I spent about a week in my room curled up in my bed, I didn't want anyone to around me. I wanted so desperately to go to Bella and be there for her. I couldn't understand my family, you could see the grief in their eyes, the longing to go to Bella but at the same time we all knew we couldn't. Esme came up a couple of times and just sat there with me but even she couldn't get my mood to change.

I finally forgave jazz, we made up and he has not left my side since. I know deep down inside that this whole mess is not his fault. It's more my fault, I wanted to throw the party. Jazzy and I were down stairs in the living room with Rose and Em. We were watching some kind of T.V. show on "Today's Technology". I don't think any of us was really paying attention to it.

Jaspers POV

Alice and I made up, we talked for hours. Everything seems to be a little bit better. I haven't left her side since the vision of Charlie's funeral. It really scared me. I haven't seen a vision like that in years, they are truly painful for her to go through. We are all sitting around the living room watch a show about the change in today's technology. It was going on and on about how things started and where we are now. It was to say a nice day, Em and Rose was sitting in the love seat by the window Rose was curled up next to Em. She looked like she fell asleep, Em..well..was being Emmett, he was totally wrapped in the T.V. Alice was laying in my lap, She is still sad. I wish I could take my angle's pain away. Our nice afternoon quickly came to a stop as Alice tensed up, followed by screams.

"NOOOOOOOO.............Edward, watch out."

Not two seconds later she screamed out again, she was completely terrified.

"NOOOO......Please...Please...No." No sooner she said that, Carlisle and Esme rushed down stairs. Panic was the only thing they were feeling. The pain and panic in the room was more than I could handle.

"Carlisle make it stop" I begged him as I fell to my knee.

"I'm So sorry Bella, pleas hold on, please. " Alice said as tears fell from her eyes.

"What's going on jasper" demanded Esme

"I don't know but she's in pain and keeps talking about Bella and Edward".

Confusion was all over their faces. Then Alice's pain stopped but her tears continued. I got up and went to me wife. I picked her up cradling her as close to my body as I could . I kept trying to calm her down, while whispering sweet nothing in her ear.

"Jasper is she still in pain?" Carlisle asked

'No, she really scared and very worried."

As alice came out of her vision, she went into a pure panic attack. She grabbed onto me for dear life. She kept saying over and over again through her tears .

"We'll loose them both, were going to lose them, she doesn't know she never found it, he took it from her, We'll loose them both."

As I was holding onto Alice, Carlisle came over " Dear tells us what you saw, we'll fix it."

'Alice, darling, please tell me what's wrong." I pleaded.

"J..J...Jazzy, Edward was coming home and.....and.....the ground started to move. Edward didn't see....He's trapped under the rocks. He's.........He's....." she couldn't finish. She started shaking as the sobs continued. "Bella, they hit her, they left her alone and she is hurt."

I just held onto Alice as Carlisle was pacing. Em held onto Rose and we all just sat there in shock. What are we going to do.

"Carlisle you are the head of our house hold, but you listen to me now. We will not loose anymore of our children. We will go to get our children NOW, figure out a way but make it happen. You know I love you but make this happen NOW or ELSE!" Carlisle may be the leader of our little family but when Esme put her foot down....You listen.

"I Got A Plan" Carlisle spoke out


	16. Ch 11: A Race Against Time

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I am really overjoyed when I get one. As always the wonderful S. Meyer's own the Twilight characters. Hope you all enjoy. I know this is a short chapter but it is leading up to the next two.

Chapter 11: A Race against Time

Carlisle POV

I needed to think, so I went for a walk with Esme. This would under normal circumstances be very relaxing for me but today it wasn't. I can't believe I've let this go on this long, enough is enough already. As I walked into the house everything was really quite. Emmett was still rubbing Rose's back and Jasper still held onto Alice.

"Alice, dear are you alright" She looked like you just told her that every fashion district burnt to the ground.

"No, I can't stop the pain. Please Carlisle please make it stop." My poor daughter.

"We are going to stop this, they are both going to be just fine" I could only hope the words that came out of my mouth were true.

"Okay everyone here is the plan. Emmett, Jasper and Rose are going to go after Edward. There was a rock slide on Hurricane Ridge Rd. just as you get inside the Olympic National Forest. The Ridge is very unstable now and there are a few more aftershocks bond to happen. Be vary careful and look quickly.

Alice, Esme and myself will head back to Forks and go after Bella We will take her back to the house in Forks. There we can and will keep her safe. We have to hurry time is not on our side, especially in Bella case. I know Edward will be okay in time. We will leave in 10 minutes.

Jaspers POV

I didn't want to leave Alice. I've never seen her so upset before. Alice insisted we take the Edward's car.

I gently placed her in the back of the car, Esme was on the other side with open arms waiting for me to give her Alice. As I place a kiss on her forehead she whispered ever so softly " Hurry, he doesn't have much time."

With that we said our good-byes and gave our loved ones our well wishes on a safe trip until we would meet up again in Forks. Em, Rose and I jumped in the jeep headed to rescue Edward. While the others race after Bella. I couldn't help but worry about my beautiful little Pixie as the volvo slowly disappeared out of our view.

Carlisle POV

Once again we were off to the rescue of two of our family members. This time nature was the cause along with a group of immature humans. Some humans really do have rocks for brains. I knew Alice was hiding something when she told first told us about the vision she had. I know it can't be good, I wish there was away around it but I need to know what condition we were about to find Bella in.

" Alice, honey I need you to tell me what happened to Bella, I could see you left things out. "

" How could you tell, I didn't want to worry them anymore. With Edward's condition they would only worry more."

" A parent knows these things."

"Bella was on her way to our house, she driving her truck. The is a wooden box next to her with our crest on it. There is an accident on the about a mile from our house. She's going around the curve when a large black S.U.V. slams into her truck on the drivers side. Her truck flips over a couple of times and lands upside down. " Alice pauses as tears are flowing again "Bella is trapped in her seat belt, she unconscious, there's blood on her arm. I think it is coming from the wound on the side of her head. There are three guys standing outside of her truck, they recognized her. They keep pouring beer on her, around her and on her truck. All of the bottles are all around her. They are in the SUV, laughing not paying attention when they ram her truck again. Her truck is now smashed up against the trees. They made it look like it was her fault. She's left there to die, they just left her there."

Alice was in tears now, I could see Esme rubbing her back trying to calm her down. The look Esme's eyes were that of someone lost in sadness. They were pleading in more than one way for me to hurry. It was truly a race against time now. I will never completely understand humans at times. All I knew was I had to get to Bella and hoped the others got to Edward soon. With time against, I was now more than ever, thankful for the modification Rosalie made to the Volvo.

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A/N Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you guys like. Review and Let me know.

**For all of you who have The Lost Journals on you story alert. I will be taking it down and updating it correctly. I will also be going through it and correcting some of the grammer.


	17. Ch 12: OH MY Edward

I was excited about the reviews that I got so I decided to update a little sooner. I didn't mean to make some of the fans of the story sad. Sorry guys, I promise that there are good times ahead. Hope you enjoy! As always S. Meyer own Twilight.

Ch 12: OH MY..........Edward!

Emmett's POV

We drove as fast and as far as we could. It took what seemed like forever to get to him. How could this be happing to our family. I couldn't take it if this family was to loose anyone. I mean, Edward has been there for me just as long as Rosalie has. We've been brothers for over 74 years. Non of us would know how to react if he was to leave us for good. Life over the past 9 months has been awful. Nothing been the same, it was like when we move a hugh part of us died.

"Em, will you please relax, your making me nervous. I can only imagine what you doing to poor Jasper" Rose every so politely pointed out.

"I can't help it rose, what if..."

"Don't you dare, Emmett, he will be okay. You should be more worried about Bella, she's the human."

THANKS Rosalie!" Jasper said with a glare in his eyes " Give him more to worry about. By the time we get there I'm going to be the one who is going to need a doctor."

We drove for about 30 more minutes before we parked the jeep out of sight and ran to save our brother. When you have live for as long as we have there is not much that can shock us. But when we got to the road we were stopped dead in out tracks as we looked at the site in front of us. This was bad, very bad.

"OH MY GOD, Emmett. What are we going to do? What if we can't find him? What....what will we do, what will tell Esme? How...."With her head on my shoulder, I gently put my arms around her and softly spoke

"It's going to be okay rose, he has always been strong. He will not leave us, he just wouldn't do that to us." As Jasper and I just stood there starring at the rubble in front of us, I could only hope that my words were true.

"Let's go!" Jazz shouted " We don't have much time."

There was rocks, trees, sand and everything else you could think of in our way. To make matter worse the clouds were moving in really fast. The rock slide took out about a mile of road and was a good 30 feet high in some places. It was a clean break from the looks of it which scared me the most. If there was an after shock then anything could happen. We all choose different spots as we quickly went to work.

Two hours past and still no Edward. It's been raining now for about 30 minutes and we have only cleared about 15 feet.

"Did Alice say where he would be in this mess."

"Not sure Em, close to the bottom I think."

About that time Rosalie screamed, it was just like the time Jasper broke the mirror off her brand new not even released yet. black Spyker C12 Zagato. All I could say is poor jasper.

"Noooooo..........Emmett NOW!"

I knew what that meant Edward had been found. As Jazz and I race over to her we stopped dead in our tracks as soon as our eyes saw him. I've never in my life seen him like this, I 'I've never seen a vampire like this before. If I didn't already know that the only way to kill a vampire was by burning them I would l have said he was a goner. His body laid on the jagged rocks, he looked like a broken porcelain doll. From the looks of it he hadn't eaten in weeks. There was simple no life in him at all.

"Edward....Edward..Wake up bro."

"Try something else Em, Threaten his volvo or piano....Something" Rosalie suggested

"Edward wake up Bella's Hurt" Jasper shouted out with a panicked voice. But still no movement, I thought for sure that would at least gotten some kind of response.

"Jasper we have to get him to Carlisle now, this is not good"

"We need to call Carlisle, we need to know the best way to move him."

"Good point Jazz."

Without noticing Rosalie was on the phone with Calisle. You could hear a bunch of yeses , no's and it's bad. Followed by an okay see ya soon and she was back by my side giving out the orders.

"Carlisle said we can pick him up carefully, just like you would a child. Put him the front seat of the jeep and lay the seat down as far back as it can go. Last but not least he said you both need to be CAREFUL. They haven't got to Bella yet but Alice had another vision and it not any better that the first one."

We all finished clearing the rocks away from Edward. No amount of calming waves jasper could send our way wouldn't help our moods right now. I gently reach down and picked my broken brother up, Jazz went to get everything in the jeep ready and Rose insisted on driving. She claims she is the safer of the three of us when it comes to driving. There was a two hour drive ahead of us, this was going to be the longest two hours of our life. We had Edward and soon they would have Bella, We would have everyone safely back at home under one roof. Now we just have to put the piece back together.

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Thanks again Everyone for all the reviews. They bring big smile to my face. I will post as soon as I can. Have Fun!!


	18. Ch 13: A Damaged Bell

HI everyone, sorry for the delay in updating but we had some wedding cake disasters at work. We had to redo all the sugar work for 2 wedding cakes. So please forgive me for the delay. Here is the next chapter, Hope you all like it. A big THANK YOU to EVERYONE who has review, story alert or added me to their favorites it means alot to me, It really dose. As always the wonderful S. Meyer own Twilight.

A Damaged Bell

**Esme POV**

WE were about 30 minutes from our house in Forks. Alice has been in her on little bubble since rose called Carlisle concerning Edward. Just hearing Rosalie describe Edward was painful to listen to. I know Alice can see him just as she can see Bella. Every once in a while I can feel a tear drop. Edward and Alice have always been close. Then add bella and her visions, well it is just a little too much to handle. I can't stand not being able to help my children, all of my children.

"Carlisle, how bad is Edward. I mean is he going to be okay.....I guess what I'm trying to say is he going to recover. I can't loose another child. "

"In time I do believe he will be okay. I'll do everything I can, you know that. We will be okay. Our family will be okay."

Carlisle would indeed fix everything , he is the strongest most lovable man I know. as we got closer to our home Alice jump straight up and started screaming.

"STOOOOOOP........NOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!"

"Alice Dear, What is it?" As she started to say Bella we heard her screams. Our bella was in pain. We raced down the road as fast as we could. As we rounded the corner we came across Bella's truck. Or what is left of it I should say, her truck looked like something that played chicken with a semi truck. You can tell that they hit her more than once. Half of the bed of her truck was smashed together. All of her windows were shattered and the driver side what smashed in about 2 feet. Not to mention that the truck was upside down. Our poor Bella was in that truck.

"CARLISLE, THESE PEOPLE WILL PAY." I told him, I could help the amount of hatred the flooded the words that had come out of my mouth.

"Esme, please calm down, revenge is not something that we should seek, however they will pay for hurting her. There will be justice."

"I will have my own justice set aside for them, I will never understand why they would want to hurt her."

Mother nature lost two more trees today. Carlisle and I went to work as quickly as we could to get her out without harming her any further. After pulling the door off we were able to safely remove her from her now mangled truck. Even though we were flying around in vampire speed I still felt like we were going at a snail's pace.

"Alice, I need you to focus. Okay, right now you need to be strong for Bella and do everything I say. Go to the house and get everything ready. Get a bowl of warm water, wash cloths, bandages, my medical bag and some clean cloths. Get one of Edward's shirts and a loose pair of sweat pants. Esme and I will be right behind you with Bella."

Alice raced down the road to our house. Carefully Carlisle and I carried Bella back to the car and followed Alice to our house. I sat with Bella in the seat, small whimpers would escape her mouth as I was trying to get her hair away from her wounds. Bella didn't look well at all but she looked better that her truck. When we walked in the house you could see the broken pieces that was once Edward's piano. Roses that were once a vibrant red now lay dried out on the ground among the shattered piece of the glass vase they were in. Everything laid in the same spot as it did the night of Bella's Birthday. Alice had everything ready when we arrived. Carlisle carefully carried her up stairs to the guest bedroom that I made up when Edward meet Bella.

Alice and I started to clean things up, we needed the distraction to keep our minds off of things. Carlisle told me it would be easier on me if I stayed with Alice for now. I must admit that in a way I am grateful for him not needing me. It is hard to sit aside and not be able to take the pain away. Between the two of us it did not take us long to get things looking cleaner than they were. Carlisle was with Bella about an hour before he came down stairs. Pain, anger, sadness, guilt and fear were written all over his face.

"I can't wait a moment longer. Is she going to be okay? How bad is it really?"

"Esme, I do believe she will be fine. Her injuries were not as bad as I expected them to be. I will explain them to everyone at the same time." we all stopped as we heard Em. jeep come down the road. " Esme, why don't you and Alice go up stairs and get bella cleaned up. I will send Rosalie up in a few minutes. Be careful around her left side and her head."

"Carlisle, let me help you with Edward. Let me be there." I wanted to be there, hold his hand, do everything a mother would do for her son.

"I need you to tend to Bella right now dear. Let me get Edward settled and we will go and take care of him together. Right now Bella needs you, I don't think she would want me to get her cleaned up."

"Take care of our son while I go and take care of our daughter. "

Carlisle still had me wrapped up in his arms when Emmett busted through the door screaming.

"DAD.......NOW...COME QUICK...." I don't think that I have ever seen Emmett so scared, this didn't help my nerves any. Alice and I walked upstairs to Bella as we listened to Emmett explain to Carlisle what Edward looked like.

**Carlisle POV**

"Dad, I think he is dead, if he wasn't a vampire I know he would be dead. When we found him he was under about 25 feet of rock. Rose found him and we tried to be as careful as we could. We followed everything that you told Rose for us to do. We even let her drive the jeep home. I never seen anything like this."

Emmett calm down, Rose I need you to go up stairs with Esme and Alice. They are up there in the guest room with Bella. Boys help me get your brother to his room. Jasper if Esme comes out of the room please keep her distracted, I don't want her to see Edward like this."

Two hours later, I finally got edward cleaned up and everything set in it's right place. Edward's injuries were many and if he were a human he wouldn't have made. At this point I was thankful he was a vampire. I could feel the tears fighting their way out. I had to explain the injuries to the family, I had to tell them that one will be fine and the other I had no clue how to fix. I've lived for hundreds of years and I can't help my own son.

"Everyone Gather around, I need to explain things." I called out, soon everyone was sitting in the living room.

Rose was wrapped up in Emmett's arms, while Jasper had a curled up Alice in his. Emse was sitting next to me, I pulled her as close to me as I could and started to explain everything.

"Well I would like to say to everyone that it is nice to have everyone safe and together under one roof. Things are serious for the both of them and we will have to play the waiting game now. In saying that we will go about our day as we would normally do. I will start off with Bella's injuries, I was thankful that they were not as bad as I thought they would be. She has 2 broken and 3 fractured ribs, her left ankle is swollen but it is not broke it just looks be a bad sprang. She had gash on her forehead that I stitched up. Her left side is going to heavily bruised, most of them are already showing up. She will probably sleep for the next couple of days, then again I'm really not for sure when she will wake up. Over all she is really going to be okay.

Now Edward on the other hand is very weak. From the looks of it he has not eaten in a month or longer. As you all know you have to feed in order to stay strong, if you don't can go into a deep sleep. It's like being in a coma, most cases are permanent. Edward had a few broken bones and cuts from the rock slide. Thank goodness we don't bruise because he would look worse than Bella dose right now. I will figure out a way to bring Edward back to us but I'm not for sure how to do it just yet. I'm afraid I don't when he will wake up, it may be a week or it could be a month, I just don't know."

"Honey you've done all that you can and thats all we can ask, We will get through this together as a family" I really did love this woman. As her motherly side kicked in so did the orders. "Okay everyone we have a lot of things to get done. I think that we should all go hunting, go in groups and try to stay close. Rosalie will you fix up Bella's truck, I'm sure you saw it coming down the road. You know how she love it and I think she would want to keep her truck. Emmett you and Jasper help her get it to the house and help Carlisle if he needs it. Alice I'm sure you have plans already in replacing everything that was broken as well as turning one of the other guest bedrooms into Bella's new room. Give her the one that is close to Edward's room. She will need her own room now. I'm going to go shopping and get everything that I think Bella would like or need. Carlisle you get to stay home and play doctor. Please have our son ready so I can see him when I get home." She said the last part with a smile on her face as she gave me a wink. There was a sparkle in her eyes that has been missing for a while now. I do believe that she is happy that we are all here again.

"Okay everyone, your heard her. Let's get going!" With that everyone started to scatter around and began the task they were given.

Once again Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Next up Emmett and Jaspers plans to get back at the one who hurt Bella. And Emmett's stay home to watch Bella's, It going to be funny.


	19. Ch 14: An Angry Bear

Hello Everyone, Sorry for the delay but this chapter was a little hard to write but I think I finally got it. I hope you enjoy.

As always The wonderful S. Meyer own Twilight

Chapter 14: An Angry Bear.

This has been one of the longest days of my life. Esme gave us all instruction on all the different things we needed to get done. It was almost like having chores. Alice and Jazz went up the their room to change while rose and I did the same thing. On my way down stairs to meet back up with rose I decided to go and see Bella.

I keep thinking to myself as I enter the room. I'm a tall, strong, very strong vampire.....I can do this. However nothing could prepare me for what I saw. I mean Carlisle explained her injuries but she looked bad. Bella was like my little sister, seeing her like this turned the nice gentle teddy bear that I am into an angry grizzly bear. And I'm ready to attack.

"I promise you Bella, these people will pay. I'm sorry we couldn't get you you in time but we are here now. Everything will be okay now, your safe. Alice is getting your room ready and Rose is fixing up your truck. You know that it will look just the way it did before, well it will have a new paint job, new parts, new radio, new...Well I hope you get the point. We all missed you, we need you to come back to us. Please don't take to long."

"Em...Let's go get her truck. If I am going to do all the things to her truck and more I need to get started. Jasper should be there by now with the truck so we can tow it back to the house. I promise while I work on her truck you can come up here and tell her everything that I am doing. It's going to be fine, she'll come back to her teddy bear of a big brother. "

Rosalie always knew what to say to make things better. You could tell in her eyes that she wanted blood, she would make them pay for hurting her. Rose my have never showed that she cared about Bella but deep down inside we all knew that she did.

Of course Jazz was waiting when we got to Bella's truck. Looking at her truck only made my anger towards these men triple. Seriously they would be lucky if i didn't kill them . Rose went to work getting everything together while Jazz was putting all the pieces that broke off on the truck. I decided that I would collect everything that fell out of her truck. When I thought that I had everything I found a handcrafted cherry wood box with our family crest on it. That I know of we had not had the chance to get anything made for Bella that had our crest on yet.

As I sat by the tree and open the box, which took a few minutes. I hate puzzle boxes!! Once I got it opened I saw all kinds of things, letters to each of us, a couple of journals, glass figurines. The letters all had names on them, I pulled my out and read it. What I read brought tears to my eyes, our Bella was saying good-bye. What have we done?

"Hey Emmett get over here and help us out." Jazz shouted

"Coming" I got everything back in the box and went over to start helping out.

"You okay"

"Yea, I just need to get back to talk to Carlisle and I think that we need to go hunting later on."

"Hunting" He said in a questing tone.

"That's Right......HUNTING!!" I told him with a wink.

About an hour later we had everything back at the house, Rose was taking a shower and Jazz and Alice went to return the truck. I made my way to Carlisle's office with the box behind me.

"Carlisle, Do you have a minute?" I said as I knocked on the door.

"Emmett you know you don't have to knock and why do you look like you have to explain to Rose that you damaged one of her precious cars and she doesn't know yet."

"I wish that was why, but it's not, I found this and it's from Bella."

"Emmett, Son , are you okay?" I wish I was.

"Um....NO...I'm very upset, I'm angry and very sad. Carlisle I found something, I'm not for sure what I am supposed to think about it or what I am supposed to do with it. I'm not for sure if I should be thankful that Bella was in the accident, which gave us time. Or find them and kill them for hurting her. I am not dealing with this very well, I not for sure how." To say I was confused was putting it mildly.

"If being here is becoming to much for you son then your mother and I would understand if you needed to leave for a few days. "

"I don't want to leave. Bella and Edward need us, they need all of us. It's what I found that I am having an issue with. I thought I could be strong, I thought I would be okay. But after seeing Bella and reading this, I don't know how things are going to be okay. If Edward was not sick I would punch him right now."

"What did you find."

"This" I said as I pulled out the puzzle box and put it on his desk. "It's has letters to all of us, among other things. There are little figurines in the bottom of the box, one for each of us. I have a teddy bear with two stones attached to it with a silver chain. Carlisle, in my letter she was telling me good-bye. What if Alice didn't see her? What if we didn't get back in time to stop her? She wanted to die, she wanted to leave us, why couldn't she stay strong a little while longer. I keep asking myself Why and What If. I'm so confused"

"Maybe she was hurting more than we thought. More than anyone thought, you know she can hide things very well. Maybe because we left her first, maybe it was loosing Edward and then her father. There are alot of Maybes and not enough answers but we will be okay. We'll have a family meeting when Esme get's home, we have a long road ahead of us but we'll be okay."

On my way down stairs to find Jasper I noticed Rose was with Bella, she was telling her about all the plans for her truck. There was a happiness in her voice that has been gone for a while. I missed that.

"Hey Bro, we need to find out who did this" I shouted out while walking into his room.

"Don't I already know that. We need to find them before Esme dose, the emotions coming off her were beyond anything that I have every felt from her. It was worse than when Alice found out there was a fire at one of our old houses. The one where her favorite wardrobe was being kept at. I heard what you were talking to Carlisle about, are you okay. "

"Okay......NO.....But better. We need to start looking for the truck who hit Bella."

"I know, Is Alice still with Edward?"

"Yea."

"Meet me down stairs in about 20 minutes, I'm going to go talk to Alice for a minute."

Jasper POV

I knew what had to be done, I knew Emmett wanted revenge just like Alice and Rosalie. Esme wanted Blood and I when I say that I mean she was not going to drink it. Carlisle would try and keep the peace but would get his revenge one way or another. I on the other hand wanted to torture them, among other things. It would be a long drawn out sort of thing. We didn't need a mind reader in the house to know that one way or another the people responsible would pay.

The Sadness in this room was painful, my beautiful little pixie is heartbroken. Just thinking about how this all started and knowing the reason for everyones pain all started because of me. Is not helping my emotions any.

"Alice, Darling" I said as I walked up behind her placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Oh, Jazz, I'm sorry I was....well......taking a break."

"It's okay, Eddie boy needs some company, I was just going out with Emmett for a quick hunting trip. Something to calm my nerves a little bit." I knew she would understand, I hated using it as an excuse but I also knew she would under stand.

"Jazzy , I'm so sorry I forgot about what all this could be doing to you. I'll go with you if you want, Emmett doesn't have to."

"Alice, it's okay. Emmett needs to cool off more than me. I know you saw what he found and He read his letter. He's a little upset about it. He just needs a quick run to blow off some steam. "

"I saw, I wish I would have been able to stop this. Anyway, You guys go out and BEHAVE and later on we can take a midnight walk. Emmett can watch these two."

"I'll be home soon."

With a kiss good bye Emmett and I were ready for our hunt. It wouldn't take us long after all forks is not that big. We knew the ones would would always come out this way. It was the normal football kids trying to get away for a quick party away from the town.

We searched for almost two hours until we found the truck, it belonged to the Lawson brothers, they were a bunch of idiots. The truck front end was smashed in beyond repair, how they got the truck home was beyond me. All of a sudden Emmett emotions were off the wall.

"Emmett, Don't do it bro. Let's go home and get the others, We now know who did this and now we have to figure out what to do to them.

"Jazz."

"Emmett, do you want me to call Rosalie."

"Dude, you don't play fair. "

"I know now lets go to the house. "

Esme POV"

When I got back to the house the girls were still upstairs and carlisle was in his office. The boys were missing, then it hit me......The BOYS were MISSING.'

"CARLISLE" I all but shouted

"Esme are you okay, is something wrong, are you hurt." Panic was all over his face.

"Where are my boys, why are they not here? How could you just let them leave this house. Do you have any idea how bad this can be"

"I'm not for sure, They probably went for a run. It's okay, calm down dear."

As Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, I soon found my wrapped up in a comforting embrace. I didn't want to worry, I didn't mean to panic but I know what those are capable of doing. That is when pushed to their limits, right now they are at their limits. This could go wrong in so many ways not just for my boys but our family. I heard them coming down the road, it was our boys and boy are they in deep trouble.

"GET IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW BOYS, IN LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO!!" I screamed at them. I didn't have to but they need to know now was the time not to push me.

Emmett POV

After Jazz got me calmed down enough to move, we decided to go back to the house. Lets just say when we got home we were in TROUBLE. As we got closer to the house we heard Esme Screaming.

_"Where are my boys, why are they not here? How could you just let them leave this house. Do you have any idea how bad this can be"_

_"I'm not for sure, They probably went for a run. It's okay, calm down dear." _

Carlisle was trying to calm her down "Hey Jazz, you go in first, calm her down a little. She likes you better."

"Um...I don't think so, she is livid, I don't want to die." Jazz said but not quick enough about that time we heard Esme scream at us again.

"GET IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW BOYS, IN LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO!!" I don't think I've ever heard that tone come out of her mouth. Everyone who can walk needs to get to the living room NOW."

Everyone was waiting for us as we entered into the living room.

"SIT.......EXPLAIN...........NOW, Where have you been?"

"Carlisle, um..dose she know about the box we found yet."

"No, I haven't told her yet. The box is still in my office."

"We are going to need the box." the word sadly left Alice's mouth

"I found a box by Bella's truck once I got it opened I found letters for all of us. I knew the box was meant for us, it had our crest on it, therefore I knew it was Bella's." As I continued rambling about the box I handed out the letters "Esme, I'm sorry we left without telling you but after I read my letter I was upset. Well, Hell I was, there are just no words to explain what I was feeling. We needs to find them, they needed to pay for this, they left her for dead hell they even tried to kill her. I wanted to kill them, I still do. Our family needs Bella and she needs us and if i have to beat Edward up everyday for the next hundreds years i will. I'll do it so he understands that she completes the family."

"Emmett, stop rambling" snipped rose

"Anyway we decide it would be nice to find the people who hit Bella, So Em and I went to go and find the idiots behind this mess." Jazz ever so happily said.

"Did you find them." Carlisle was the first to ask

"Um....Yea.....Let's just say it is a very good thing that Edward is out of it right now." I said

"Well" Esme asked impatiently

"It's the Lawson brother's" gasps filled the room

"What am I missing" Carlisle asked breaking the silence

"They are alot like Royce and his friends. They are evil , veil people." Rose coldly stated "They should die a slow and painful death. I think we should allow Jazz to torture them. I could help, I would be happy to help."

"Well I've got a plan, I'm going to do a little more research then we can put it into action. When everything works out the way I plan it to they will never been scene outside again." Jasper happily said.

"There will be NO killing, we will not lower ourselves to their level." Carlisle pointed out.

"Oh I didn't say they would be killed, that would be giving them the easy way out. But they will live a life full of punishment. Anyway it's getting late and I promise Alice a midnight walk. We'll be going out for a few hours."

Jazz said

"I think that I am going to start on Bella's truck, it's going to take a while." Rose said as she began to get up from the couch.

"Carlisle I'll watch the stiffs, If you and Esme want to go for a walk to relax a little."

"Thanks Emmett, I think a walk would help us lighten up a whole lot. Esme dear would you care to go for a midnight stroll" Carlisle asked

"Are you sure, what if..."

"I'm sure."

Everyone left about an hour later, you could hear the banging coming form the garage, Its sounded more like she was taking her anger out on the truck. Poor Truck! I decided to go and cheer up the stiffs. I went to go see Edward, I figured I would turn on his music. Every day since he meet Bella he would listen to the same Cd every time they were apart. I told him about Bella and who did it . I was hoping that it would make him jump out of the bed. I went on to tell him that jasper was working on a plan and he shouldn't worry.

I left my brothers room and decided to cheer up Bella. While we were out Alice had Bella room all fixed up thank goodness she was nice enough to put in a very NICE entertainment center. With know one around and rose hammering her issues away I knew it would be safe. I knew how I would cheer up Bella, I will sing to her. I pulled out all my favorite Disney CD's and DVD. Be prepared my dear sister I said to her while I laughed.

To all of my fans, readers and reviewers I want give you guys a big THANK YOU. I may not answer you guys back be I will try harder to do it. I do read all of your reviews and they truly make me smile. I hope you like this chapter. Don't worry Emmett singing is coming soon.


	20. Ch 15: Bella's Letters pt 1

S. Meyer owns all things twilight

Hello all, this is the letter Bella left Edward in the Cullen puzzle box saying all of her good-bye's. I hope you enjoy!! the rest of the family letters are coming next.

Ch 15 pt 1 : Bella's Goodbyes

My Dearest Edward,

If you are reading this then that means that I'm no longer here. I have tried to fight but there's really nothing left for me to fight for anymore. Life and everything that comes with it is completely pointless. My Heart can no longer handle the pain that comes with getting up in the morning, going down the stairs, cooking, cleaning, driving or even living. This pain comes every time I take a breath. Considering I need air to breath, my day is constantly filed with pain. I just can't do it anymore, I'm not strong enough.

I desperately tried to find you when you left me so many months ago. I searched until my legs could no longer carry me. After I fell for the last time, I just laid there while drops of rain fell from the sky above. They didn't bother me like I thought they would. Why would rain bother an empty shell of body. A body once full of love, happiness and life. With you everything was possible, now nothing seemed right.

I can't tell you much of what happened after you left me. I knew that you were gone and that you "didn't want me" anymore and now I'm slowly dying inside. I remember when each word you said slowly broke off a piece of my heart. How many times can a humans heart break. As of now mine is beyond repair. I always knew that I didn't deserve you as a friend, lover and hopefully a future husband. I could never give you what you gave me. I am however very grateful for the chance to get to know you and for the chance to love you.

So many years ago on a star lit summer night I wished upon a falling star. I wished I could find a wonderful gentle man to swoop down and sweep off my feet. Someone tall and strong. Someone to wake up my dead heart and make me whole. Someone to care for me and love forever. Edward you were my wish. You were also the man I dreamed of each night when I closed my eyes to sleep. You were the man of my dreams every since I first saw you. I wrote this that night when the star fell and gave me a wish. It may be late but I would like to share it with you.

The Man of my Dreams

By Bella (jsw)

As I open my weary eyes

To my surprise a stranger I discover.

Before my exhausted body

A tall, yet slender young man

With a melt in you mouth figure.

Creamy dark hair and golden brown eyes

That glistens in the pale moonlight.

Bringing happiness to my lonely heart.

His intellectual conversation

Served through me,

As he feeds my mind with love and understanding.

His lips will be soft , like a spring breeze

Tip-toeing across my face.

His smiles will be like a beamed of radiant light

Like rays of sun shooting through the clouds an a rainy day.

As his enchanting voice spoke with words

So soft, so gently and kind,

It made me quiver as chills went up my spine

He left me light headed and empty

As he made the world around us shine

One day in this life of mine.

I hope that one day in time.

One day I'll find this dream man of mine.

You were in my dream.

All I have left is memories of nights we would spend together. Nights where I would curl up next to you, in loves tight embrace. I would lay my head on your chest and listen to your dead heart beat with excitement because I was next to you. As my own heart races away when you came near me. You held me while my nightmares haunted me, hummed to me when I couldn't sleep. You gave me a lullaby, my very own piece of music, a piece created for me. That was the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me. I knew while I was in your arms that I was safe and I was loved.

I know our love was forbidden, but just as you were drawn to me I was to you. You gave me a life, a purpose, a reason to love. You let me be a part of your family. A family full of kindness and love please tell them that I love them all and I missed them dearly. My biggest fear was loosing you and that I did. I wasn't good enough for you, I wanted you but you didn't want me.

My heart hurts Edward, each piece of my shattered heart hurts and aches to be whole again to be wrapped up tight in your arms safe from the memories that haunt me. Edward these are some of the memories you gave me. These are the memories that haunt me now. I remember first seeing you as you walked in the lunch room my first day at Forks High School. I tried not to look at you but there was something about your eyes. When I saw you again I thought that this was truly my lucky day. It saddened me when you wouldn't say "Hi", Then you left running. I wondered what made you run, then I thought that maybe it was me. I wanted to see you again, I really couldn't understand it. I just know that I wanted to see you and look into your eyes until the end of time.

I remember waiting for you to come back, wanting you to come back and you did. Even though it was strange at first I was happy you came back. I could never say thank you enough for saving my life not once but often. Bio. Class, The van and James. You were in so many ways my knight in sparkling armor.

I remember dreaming of you at night. Dreaming of being in your arms, running down the beach, watching the sunsets. Dreaming dreams of us completely in love, never apart and totally happy. I remember our meadow full of flowers, magic and love as we laid among the many flower that covered our special place. I've lost count of how many time I fell asleep there listening to you hum my lullaby. It pains me to say that I found our meadow awhile back, it is as dead as my broken heart. There's no love there, no warmth, no flowers. Everything is brown and gone.................. completely lifeless.

I remember seeing your family for the first time. The love I felt being there was amazing. Your family is truly special, I never expected to be welcomed with so many smiles. I thought for sure I was going to die as everyone at school looked at us when you took me to school and we walked in together. I'm sure every girl there wanted to kill me as they realized I was yours and you were mine.

I will never forget the pain I caused you and your family when James came after me. I will never forget how you looked in the ballet studio, the pain in your eyes as you saw what James did to me. Please understand, I couldn't let him hurt you. I couldn't stand to even think about what he could have done to you or to your family. I know it was crazy to think you, a vampire, could be hurt. But it was very possible, I had to try to save you even if death was the only option for me. You were the last thing I saw before I blacked out and the first thing I saw when I woke up. You promised me then you wouldn't leave me and you would love me forever. You Promised Me.

I remember Alice fixing me up and making me look absolutely amazing. I was a princess going to the ball with the most handsome thing ever to walk out of a dream. Even though I couldn't dance, we glided across the dance floor under the stars with grace and elegance. Something that I could only imagine coming out of a fairy tale.

I'll remember our walks and our long talks. I'll remember sitting in the piano room listening to you play for hours at a time or until sleep came over me. I'll remember all the times we fell to ground in laughter and pure joy. I think that was the problem You wanted me to forget and all I could do was Remember.

My Dearest Edward I was truly my happiest while being with you, being in your arms. You brought me pure joy and I have never felt happier. However you broke your promise, you left me. You left me hurt, broken and in pain. I'm not strong enough to handle this anymore. I cry daily and scream nightly. Screams fleeing my heart as it relives the pain of you leaving me. The pain of reliving the memories of us. The pain of not being enough.

My father died last week. I didn't even get to say good bye and tell him I loved him. He was the only thing that I had left that loved me. I died even more that day, if that's even possible. I needed you, I wished you would run to me and make everything better. You never came and now I'm truly alone. I have nothing left to give to this world. I know that now. Please know that I love you and I'll always love you. My heart has only ever belonged to you. I'm sorry my love but I just can't do this anymore. I can't live when life holds no meaning. Please forgive me my love, I'm Sorry.

With all my love,

Sincerely,

Isabella Marie Swan

There you guys go. Review and let me know what you think. The poem that is used in this chapter Was wrote by me 11 years ago when I was in High School.


	21. Ch 16: Bella's letters pt 2

Hello Everyone. I figured that this story would not be complete unless I shared the letters Bella left for the Cullens. So here they are. Enjoy and once again thanks for the reviews.

A/N I received a PM asking if I have ever consider Suicide. To answer that question for all my fans......the answer is NO! Some days in life are hard and not pleasant but you have to suck it up and move on to the next day. I have found that it is odd that I can write death scenes well, I guess it is because I have been around death so much for my age. I consider myself to be a happy person and find that writing these stories to be fun. Maybe one day someone who is having a rough day can find hope in something that I write. Well I will stop rambling and let you all read the story.

As always S. Meyers owns Twilight

This chapter is not going to be in anyone point of view per say. It is going to be more like a family conversation.

Chapter 15: Bella's Good-byes

Emmett handed me my letter, I almost dreaded opening it, the fear of what she could say.

Dear Esme,

If you are reading this then it means that the puzzle box has survived the long years of weather it has had to endure until you returned to your home here in Forks. I am writing you in hopes that you will know what to do and honor my requests. I know that Carlisle is the head of the family but I also know that the heart of the family lies within the heart of the mother. That is you and you define the word in every possible way there is to define it. What to tell the women who has been so much of a mother to me then my own. All I can do is say Thank You, I know it is not much but it is all I have left to give. Thank you for the love and kindness you showed me. You welcomed me as if I had always been a member of the family, you even treated the same as your own children. Even though I was different it didn't matter to you. Thank you for letting me be a part your family, it was truly my honor. Thank you for encouraging Edward to follow his heart. In giving him that encouragement I was able to experience love in the purest form. For almost a year I was able to fly high on the clouds above because I had found a pure and true love. I felt happiness in the rarest of forms. I was able to enjoy the happiness that was brought to me by Edward. I will never forget the feeling of feeling complete. I'm so sorry for the pain that I caused you and your family. I really wish that I could take it back but then again I don't. You all were Family that I never had and I loved you all dearly. Please know that I really did love your son and I am sorry for the pain that I caused him. He was all the sunshine I needed on the cloudiest day. He was what my life was missing, he was my other half. We He left a part of my happiness went with him. Then my father died the rest of my happiness died as well.

I wish to say many things to you but I am not for sure where to start or even what to say. I miss you all so much and had hope to see you one day soon. However that can no longer be, I can no longer stay here in a world that holds no meaning to me anymore. I wish you and the rest of the Cullen family all the happiness you can find. Enclose is letters for the rest of the family, please give them their letters. I have also enclosed a letter for Edward, I know he doesn't really care but this would make me feel a little more at ease in asking you to do this. Please know that I am sorry for doing this and hope one day you can forgive me for giving up. I just don't have a choice any more. I love you all . Enclosed in the bottom of the box under the felt bottom is a hidden compartment. In it you will find a crystal figurine, one for each of you, I picked out the heart for you. There is enough love in your heart to share with the world. There are two birthstones hanging down from it. They are the birthstones of your human birth and your special birth. Once again Thank You for everything you have done for me.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan

Emmett handed me the box and had the bottom piece already removed. I saw all the pieces that she had picked out for each of us.

"Carlisle what do you think she meant about our special day?" I asked

"I think that she is talking about the day we became Vampires, I have heard her call it that before." He answered while opening his letter and began to read his letter aloud.

Dear Carlisle,

"My Favorite Doctor", To the one and only one I can give this title to. Thank you for being my on call doctor, you were there to patch me up every time I fell, broke something or had a cough. You have saved me on more than one occasion, I would be dead right now if you weren't there when James attacked me. You looked after me and cared for me not as one of your patients but as a daughter. Thank you. I love both you and Esme just like I do my own father. Please don't be disappointed in Jasper it was not his fault. I can't blame him for doing something that is only natural to him. Please take care of Edward he may not want me any more but I still care about him. Don't let him do anything to Jasper that he would regret. I worry about them both. I've always envied your family, the way everything fitted together. It was a well put together puzzle. The love you all held for one another was amazing. Even as couples the love you had for each other after all these years was truly special. I had hoped one day that Edward and I would have had the same kind of love you shared with Esme. The sparkle you had for her every time you looked into her eyes was truly enchanting. The love you shared was endless. You were like a second father to me and for that I am thankful. You still accepted me even though I was human. To say thank you is simply not enough. There are truly no words. I know you will take care of everyone because that is just who you are. I have chose a stethoscope for you, it is an instrument that you use often as the roll of the care giver. You play that role so well and you do it so willingly. You are truly a kind, caring and special person. I see where the rest of the family gets it from. I will never believe a person with a heart so big and so kind could ever be damned. I wish you the best in life and what it may bring your way.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan

Carlisle was still holding on to Esme as his own tears slid down his face. To know that he could have lost Bella only mad the situation grimmer. "Jasper since you are sitting next to me, would you mind going next." Carlisle asked

"Not at all" Jasper replied as he began to read his letter.

Dear Jasper,

I wonder where to start when it comes to you, so I will start in the beginning. My first day at school Jessica described you as "the one who looks like he's in pain all the time." You did have that look and I couldn't understand how someone could be in pain with someone so highper next to them. On one of my many walks with Edward before I meet you all at your house Edward told me about you. Just a little though, He told me to get you to tell me stories about the war or if I ever had to do a report that you would be the only thing I would need.

I hope you know I do not blame you for the incident that happened on my birthday. It is a natural reaction for your kind. With everyone else who was in the room and the emotion's that joined in, it was too much for any one to handle. Edward once told me that my blood would sing to him and that it took a lot of effort to control his urge to taste. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you. Not only do you have to live with your own urges but the feeling coming off of everyone else and live with this everyday. You called it control but I think it would have been something that I would considered torture. You really are a very strong person. I don't have to forgive you because there's nothing to be sorry about. You can't help it I'm a klutz, I've been this way for years. I hope Edward is not hard on you and that he doesn't do something he will regret.

I do have to say THANK YOU, Thank you for everything that you have done for me. You kept me safe, you made me laugh and I truly enjoyed it all. I also want to say thank you for keeping me safe and coming to my rescue when James attacked me. You stepped up and protected me so Edward could lead him away and keep my father safe. You thought of me enough to not only keep me safe but my father safe. I can never say thank you enough to you but to the rest of the family as well, there are truly no words. I chose a canon for you, Edward always said you war stories were better than the history books and you have a love for Civil War history. I really do wish I would have had the chance to hear they stories. I want you to know that Edward was proud to have you as a brother. It's just...well...He can't help but think with his mind first.

Please take care of Alice for me. She will need you more than you know, please keep her safe. Please make her smile, I'm sure she will not understand or be happy with the choice I have made. I just can't take it anymore. I wish you the best what life has to offer. Goodbye.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan

"After everything that I did to her, I wasn't friendly and I tried to stay away from her. I don't understand why she doesn't hate me, why she would think that it is her fault, why she would worry about me. She thanked me. I don't deserve to have a friend like her but am honored that she would consider me a friend." jasper said while holding his head in his hands. Alice got up and crawled into his lap and said "It's who she is, it's why we love her so much and why she fits into our family so well. I guess I'm next."

That she was, she slowly opened up her letter trying to keep the tears away and began to read.

Dearest Alice,

I'm not for sure what to say to you, I'm sure this is not how it was supposed to end. I'm so very sorry for the pain I caused you. I feel like I have put you in the most pain. I want you to know that you were my best friend, a true best friend. Finding someone who can fill those shoes is very hard to do. You were different, you were kind, you were special and you treated me the same way. You were a sister that I never had. Even though I protested every time you played Bella Barbie or tried to take me shopping I will never forget those moments. That's when you made someone plain into someone beautiful. You truly have a talent for fashion. I had a dream once that things were different and we were having a slumber party. We did all the normal things like paint our toes, talk about boys and have a pillow fight. Me, you and Rose fell asleep down stairs and our sweet, lovable men carried us upstairs to bed. We were normal and we were all happy but that was a dream. It was a blessing to get to know you and your family. I wish I could tell you so many things, I wish things would have been different. I wish a lot of things but wishing has not made anything better. I will miss you so very much, I miss the little pixie who could brighten up the room by just walking in the door.

I have to believe that Edward is the reason why you didn't say goodbye. I know deep down inside that you would never leave like that. Please look after Edward for me and make for sure he doesn't hurt Jasper. I do not blame Jasper for what happen and I think that you should know that. I know it will be hard but don't give up on Jasper, I know he will blame himself for everything but soon he will understand that things happen for a reason. There are a million things that I want to say to you and a million things I wish I could change but I can't. Please take care of yourself and everyone else. They'll need you and all the happiness you bring with you. For you I chose a Fairy, it is the closest thing I could find to a pixie. I picked the one with flowers because I know how you love having them around. I'll miss you and please take care of yourself. I wish you the best in what the future holds. Good-Bye my dear friend.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan.

Tears fell from Alice eyes as she sat in Jaspers lap crying "I told Edward this would kill her and look it almost did."

"Darling it will be okay, we are here now. Please stop crying." Jasper tried for an hour to calm Alice down but with no luck. Carlisle got up and went over to Alice.

"Let me try." He told Jasper as he picked Alice up and held her like any father would do. Slowly Alice calmed down and Rosalie pulled out her letter.

Dear Rosalie,

Although we never really got along, I hoped in time that we would become great friends. I know that you really didn't care to be around me and I know that you didn't like the fact that I was dating Edward. It was crazy to think that I would fit in. I hope you will forgive me for the pain that I have caused you and your family. I guess you were right, I really didn't belong in your world. I just didn't belong anywhere. I hope you find the happiness in what you are looking for and deserve. I don't know what happened to you or why someone would do anything to hurt you. However I know they didn't deserve you. I know that I asked Emmett to take care of you but we both know that you are stronger then he is, so please take care of him. We all know he would be lost without you. He really loves you. You are truly a beautiful person inside and out. When I was a child I would spend time with my grandparents every summer. She would tell me stories while we work in her garden. One day she told me the story of a rose, the story goes.

Once there was a rare red red rose. This rose a special rose. All the other flowers in the garden would envy the beauty the rose would give off. The rose envied them, she just wanted to be normal. Everyone always comment on her beauty and grace. Her petals were soft and her stem was full of thorns. In the morning sunlight she would glow as the dew droplet laid just right on her petals. One day she was picked and put on a counter. There she thought know one would ever think she was beautiful again. Much to her surprise she was wrong, she learned that she could be just as beautiful as she was in the garden. Even if she was plain.

My grandmother told me that story for years telling me that it is what we think of ourselves that makes us beautiful. You put up a cover because that is what people expect of you but on the inside you are just like me. Your kind, caring and gentle. I know the things you did were done in effort to protect you family and the secret they carry. I chose a rose for you, I chose it because a rose is a very beautiful flower. It's love is undying and unforgettable. If you ever need proof that you are a kind, caring or gentle person just look at Emmett or any member of you family. Hope life brings you everything that your heart desires.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan

Dear Emmett,

I have never meet anyone who was as tall and strong as you but so gentle. You look scary on the outside but on the inside you are the gentlest teddy bear. It was nice knowing that I had my own personal teddy bear. Between you and Jasper you guys were like the brothers I never had but always wanted. Emmy thanks for everything. I enjoyed our talks and the many laughs we had. Even though you knew how to make me blush every shade of red, I wouldn't change a thing about you. You will always be a big teddy bear in my eyes. I always knew that as long as I had you, Jazz and Edward that I would be safe. Thank you for keeping me safe. Please don't be mad at Jasper and Don't beat Edward up. Yes I remember what you said you would do if Edward ever hurt me. I think you said you would and I quote "I will tape him to a chair and make him listen to me sing It's a Small World." Please take care of everyone for me and please take care of Rose for me, she is a special person. She may hit you in the head often but it is only because she loves you and is trying to teach you some manners. There are so many things I wish I could say but I don't know where to start. I chose to give you a teddy bear, I wanted you to know that every little sister needs to have a teddy bear. A teddy bear will get you through the night if you have a bad dream. It will have tea party's with you and go to sleep overs. It will protect when your scared and make you smile when your sad. A Teddy Bear is something you will have with you your whole life because even when you grow up and become old and gray you will still need your teddy bear. Emmett you are that Teddy Bear, that is your role in the family. And I have to say you do your job well. Thank you again for everything and I wish you the best. Good bye big brother.

Sincerely

Isabella Marie Swan

"Now do you see why I was upset, We hurt her and she takes the blame. We were selfish to think the way we did. We need to fix this and make everything better. We know that Edward can't live without Bella and We know that Bella can't live with out him. We also know that as a family we can't live with out them. " Emmett said as a tear slide down his cheek.

Things were quite and everyone just sat there thinking about how things could have been. Thinking about how things were going to be in the future. As time passed slowly everyone left the living room, Rose went to the garage and started on Bella's truck again, Carlisle and Esme went to Edward's room to tend to him, Alice went in with Bella. I think she is reading one of her favorite books to her. While Jasper and Emmett plan out how to get revenge on the Lawson brothers. Things were going to be okay in time and time is what they had plenty of.

Well there they are. Remember Reviews are an amazing treat to have, so please review. I am having to add two chapters in the story. It may take me a few days to update. Hope everyone has a wonderful Weekend/


	22. Ch 17: Baby Sitting With Emmett

Okay everyone the only tears I want you to shed are tears of joy caused by laughing yourself crazy. I hope I do this chapter justice and it is as funny as the couple of people I let read this before you guys said it was. Thank you to everyone who took the time out to review. It really dose mean a lot to me. Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight.

**All things related to the Disney Corp. belongs to the Disney company. They are only in my story as that of a person who would watch or listen to the movies at their home. Yes I believe even vampires like Emmett would watch a Disney movie. The Spectrum Song is sung by Professor Lud Wig Von Drake. He is a Disney character that is really funny and not often seen. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 17: Baby Sitting Adventures with Emmett

Rosalie POV

After the we all got our letters from Bella the need to make things right again was stronger than ever. I wish things would have been different between us and I will work on making it better. I will start by fixing her beloved truck. It is a little out dated, rusty, scratched up, and not something I personally would drive but Bella loves this thing. I will fix it up where it is still the same old thing but with better parts, a faster engine, new paint job and even though it is old something that I would drive too.

I finally got everything taken apart and sanded. I had everything divided out into projects and a list of everything that I would need. The list was long and shopping was going to be a must. I decided I better get back into the house to check up on Emmett. Leaving my child like husband alone for to long can be disastrous at times. I could hear Edward's CD playing. So I went up to his room and checked on him first. I was hoping that he was awake but I knew it would be too soon. Sure enough he was still laying in the same spot as he was the last time I checked on him.

I wasn't really paying attention to things around me so I guess when I heard the music selection that was coming from Bella's room I shouldn't have been surprised. "Oh no" was the next thing that came to mind, I heard Disney music. About ten years ago Alice thought that it would be a good idea to get Emmett every Disney Animated movie ever made. She also gave him the soundtracks to match the movies along with that she gave him a trunk filled with all kinds of wigs, clothes, gadgets, gizmos and all kind of other things. I learned later on that he was caught at Carlisle hospital in the cancer ward entertaining the children, Esme said that when she was grocery shopping one day they walked past this little girl who was sick. Emmett saw that the little girl was not smiling and looked very sad. Emmett being the giant teddy bear he is went over to the child and had her smiling and laughing in a matter of minutes. I can only imagine the show he was about to put on for Bella.

I've never been aloud to see him but I knew it would be funny to watch. I tippy toed to Bella's room and began to watch my husband at his best. What I saw almost made me die laughing. I was starring at a 6'3' muscle man dress as a mad scientist/doctor. He had this white spiky wig on with the tips of the wig in a variety of neon colors. He had one of carlisle doctor coats on and his name tag said "Dr. Papa Bear". The Dr. coat had a multi colored paint splattered all over it. There were greens, blues, yellows, reds and every other color you can think of. His shoes, lets just say that Alice would not approve of, were a pair of two foot long set of paws. I am not for sure how long I am going to make it before I die laughing.

"Okay Bella it's time for a check up"

Emmett said as he pulled out this poster board and sat it on a stand. The poster had a list of things that had to be checked off. Then he pulled out this toy gun and put in his coat pocket and walked over to Bella.

"As your Doctor in training it's is my job to attempt to wake you up. Carlisle who is your real doctor told me to keep you entertained. So I am going to give you a check up. I really hope to make my father proud..Now what to check first."

He looked over at the board and scratched his head.

"Oh, yah... Bella are you breathing?" He waited for a few seconds "Well since you can't answer and your chest is moving up and down at a reasonable rate, I would say that it is safe to say that you are."

He pulled out the toy gun and shot what looked to be paint at the board, missing the board more than once I might add. Alice is soooo going to kill him.

"Next" he said looking back at the board "Bella is your heart beating" once again my goof ball of a husband waited "Okay, well since you can't answer I'll check."

About that time he pulled out this large neon green stethoscope and placed it over her heart.

"Well Bella I can hear that your heart and it is going....thump thump......thump thump.......thump thump. So since it has a nice study sound it is safe to say that your heart is beating just fine."

He pulled out the toy gun again and shot paint at the board again. Again missing more that once but this time he was laughing as he was doing it. To be honest I think he was doing this on purpose and having fun doing it.

"By the way Bella, I am not for sure if I will survive when alice gets home, I have got paint all over your room. I do believe she will kill me! But I am decorating and she always encourages me to express my artistic side. What's next on my list..Oh I need to check for infections. Please forgive me but I don't like needles and this is the only way I have to check, I saw it in a movie once. There was this seagull who talked to mermaids, he was so cool."

My dear husband has lost his mind, completely lost it. Did he have the infection, did he catch something that caused him to go completely mental. He walked to the end of her bed and picked up her foot and placed it on his cheek. He waited and waited then put her foot back under the cover while scratching his head.

" Well your foot is warm and I think that means that you have no infections. I am not for sure.....I will discuss my findings with your real doctor when he returns." He said it so serious as he shot paint at the board once again.

"Now Bella I am going to sing to you. I have the perfect song and I think that it would make you laugh. And it would go with the decorations I have provided for you new room.

"He started to hum a tune while he was putting up sheets over the entertainment center. He went into the bathroom and came out with four buckets of golf ball size balloons. Oh this can't be good.

"Now Bella I have tried over and over again to make an artist inspired painting to this song but some how I don't get it right. I will try again. Be careful I might get paint on you." He told her as he started to sing the Spectrum Song. I was really worried now, I didn't see a canvas anywhere, I would have never dreamed he would have ever did what he was about to do. As the song started playing I was really starting to worry.

Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue

Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red

Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue

Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red

Blend them up and what do you get?

Ceries, chartous, and aqua

Mauve, beige, and ultra marine, and every colour in between

Hazo ka li ka no cha lum bum

Colour has it's harmony and just like I have said

Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue

Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red

Blend them all and what do you get?

Ceries, chartous, and aqua

Mauve, beige, and ultra marine, and every colour in between

Ing za ri ka fo zi brun brun

Colour has it's harmony and just as I have said

Red, yellow, green, red, blue, pink, grey

And white, and plaid and blue, green, white, yellow and toodinz 'n' and and and

right and and strips with blue and a black and Plaid and a....a

oo and ...vut vut, vait a second, vut vut's going on wid all da colours?

Blue, red, green, green, white, white, black....

vut ever happened to just plain old lavender blue dilly dilly dilly dilly.......dilly

......silly

He started juggling the balloons while he was dancing around the room. He was singing this silly song and every time there was a color mentioned he would throw a balloon up in the air. At the wall. At the window. By the end of the song I was on the floor laughing uncontrollable and Bella's room was covered in paint. How and I am not for sure how she survived with not a drop of paint on or around her bed I will never know.

"Rose, hey what are you doing on the floor." OOPS I got caught

"Umm, I was checking on Edward and then I came to see how Bella was doing and I couldn't help but watch." I answered

"Well what do you think, I entertained Bella, kept her safe and created a master piece all in one day." He said all this with a smile on his face. He was so proud of the work or mess he created.

"You know Alice will kill you when she gets home."

"It will be okay I was just doing what I was told to do."

"EMMMETTTTTTT, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Alice screamed

I don't think I have ever seen my sweet husband run so fast in my life. Before I could blink my eyes Emmett was out the window and Alice was standing in the middle of the room. I would go down in history as being the first vampire widow. The headlines would read "Cullen Family Tragedy: Sister snaps and takes life of Mentally retarded Brother". I always knew my husband was a little off.

"I'm going to kill him Rosalie, I'm sorry but I have to. He......he......I mean.....He.........is..he......CRAZY. Did you hit him one to many times in the head. Did he........think first.....I mean.......He.....How... how could he."

Alice just couldn't get the words out of her mouth. Then she just fell to the floor in defeat. Unfortunately for her she hit the corner of the table that had the rest of the balloons on it and it landed on her. She was now a little multi colored painted pixie. A pixie who was wearing her favorite Jimmy Choo's. My poor husband, I only hope I can find all the pieces so I can put him back together again.

Jasper, Esme and Carlisle just stood at the door trying to pick up their faces from the floor. Jasper walked over to Alice and picked her up.

"Darling it will be okay, I love you know matter what your shoes look like. Let's go get you cleaned up." He told her trying to make her smile.

"Jazzy I know he is your brother but you are my husband. Do you love me?"

"Yes my dear, I love you. I will always love you."

"Good, will you help me kill your brother, he has ruined my shoes. And did you see the mess he made in Bella's room, did you see the closet, there is paint everywhere." She told him as she laid her head on his chest and they went upstairs.

"I don't think it is a good idea to leave Emmett alone with Edward and Bella again." Esme said.

"I will move Bella to the study until we get this mess cleaned up." Carlisle said as he went to go pick up a sleeping Bella, how she was still asleep I would never know.

"I should go find my husband." I told them as I left to go find my husband before Alice had a chance to get ahold of him.

A/N I hope you all enjoyed this. I have never tried to write something with a lot of humor in it and I really hope I did well. Please review and let me know what you think.

Also the comment about a "mentally retarded brother" is just that, it is a comment. I have a brother and there are times I think he is just crazy and has lost his mind at times. It is not a comment to make fun of someone who may have an extra challenge when it comes to life. Once again let me know what you think and review, review, review.


	23. Ch 18: A Stirring Bell

Hi guys, Sorry for the long wait for the update. A lot of things have been going on between work and life. I will honestly try my best to update regular. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy.

S. Meyers owns twilight

Chapter 18: A Stirring Bell

Alice POV

It's been two weeks since we arrived back in Forks, it's been two weeks since we found my brother and Bella. Its been two weeks and neither one of them have showed any signs of waking up soon. I wish the vision of them waking up would come but it hasn't yet.

Emmett and I are on limited speaking terms. Meaning that I'm still upset with him and I limit the amount of words I say to him. He has tried to make up for what he did to my shoes, Bella's room, her closet. Need I go on! If it wasn't for my wonderful, gentle, caring, kind, loving husband my dear brother Emmett would be dead. Even though he has said he's sorry countless times and has offered to be my shopping companion for a whole year, which I can totally make him wish he hadn't said that, I'm still mad at him. I'm holding out for the trip to Italy for fashion week, where I will enjoy torturing both him and my husband.

Carlisle has found a way to feed edward. It takes a while but he seems to think it will work. Esme rarely leaves his side. While she feeds him she will talk to him as if he is awake and could understand everything that is going on. She tells him everything that has happened, what's going in the news, what the family is doing and updates on Bella. She even reads to him. She doesn't leave his side often and when she does it is to go see Bella or hunt. It's a lot to deal with but you will never hear her complain, it is the mother in her.

Rosalie with the help of my retarded brother Emmett have managed to get Bella's truck working and looking in mint condition I might add. She loved working on Bella's truck, she is really talented when it come to cars. She said it was her most challenging project yet.

Jasper has stayed outside most of the time. The emotions that fill our house are a little to much for him to handle. I find myself staying with Bella most of the time. I've read every fashion magazine I can in hopes that when she wakes up maybe their will be a little more fashion since to her. I've also read six of her favorite books to her and I'm about to start to read Romeo and Juliet to her for the second time.

"Romeo and Juliet by William Shake..." as soon as I started reading I froze as I heard her speak

"Edward"

Not wanting to scare her I ran to the hallway and before I could call for anyone I was meet by Carlisle, Esme and Emmett. They were there within seconds.

"She spoke didn't she?" Esme asked with joy in her voice.

"She waking up, I think, She called out for edward." I answered

"Bella, honey it's Esme can you hear me." Esme Cooed "Bella honey wake up for us, come back to us now. Please, Bella, it's time to wake up."

We all stood there watching her as her eyes started to flutter open. You could tell she was trying to open her eye, she started blink, then her eyes opened. She blinked a little more then she just starred at everyone as tears escaped from her eyes.

"Bella" Carlisle said "Okay everyone give Bella some space. Dear do you know who I am?"

"Yes, I know who you are. Your carlisle, that's Esme, that's a giant teddy bear named Emmett and that's the pixie named alice."

"Good, That's real good. Do you remember what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"Not really, I was driving to your house, I knew that you would be gone but I was leaving you something. I was leaving you a box, I was leaving forks, the box was my goodbyes. I was hit and I remember getting hit again. Now I'm here. Where is the box? Why am I here? Have I died?"

Not being able to wait any longer I rushed to her side and wrapped Bella up in a hug "Oh bella I'm so glad your okay and no silly your not dead."

"I don't understand, why are you here, How did you know? Why am I at your house?" She asked

"Let me explain" Carlisle said "Alice had a vision of you being hit by a truck. She saw that you were on the way to the house when it happened. She saw that as soon as they found out who you were that they rammed your truck into the trees and left you behind. They left you to fend for yourself, they left you to die. We have recently learned that it was the lawson brothers. We believe that the were drinking the day they hit you. I'm sorry Bella we tried to get to you as soon as we could but we were about an hour to late. We were trying to save Ed..."

Esme interrupted quickly "Bella dear, you are her because we want you here. Because we thought it would be easier for you to rest and heal."

"I'm surprised your here, it's so very kind of you to take care of me." Bella turned her head away as tears fell from her eyes and continued. "I know it takes a lot of time to take care of someone sick, so I guess it's best if I go to a hospital now...now that I am awake. I don't want to be in the way."

"Bella, dear, you are not going to a hospital, you will stay here, you will stay with family. You could never be in the way, your a very important piece of this family and we need you as much as you need us." Esme kindly said.

"I can't ask you to choice between me and your son. It's not fair to Ed...Edward or Jasper for me to be around, Where is he? Where is Rosalie? "

"Rosalie is outside putting the finishing touches on your truck. I think you will like the new hunk of junk. Jasper went for another walk, he has become very boring lately." Emmett ever so happily said "I happy to have you back little sister, you gave me a quiet scare. I think it was a anonymous vote that we take care of you."

"Okay now everyone, let's give Bella some time to get used to things. I think I will give her a quick check up and let her get a nice hot shower. Bella what would you like for dinner, Esme has the kitchen stocked and is dying to cook something." Carlisle asked.

"Umm, it doesn't matter...really anything would be fine." she answered

With that we shouted out our good byes and left Carlisle and Bella alone. We knew what they were going to talk about and it would be hard for them both. All I knew was that I need to get Jasper, he was going to be so happy. Our family was almost whole, we were only missing Edward. Soon everything would be put back together.

Bella's POV

Everyone was leaving, like Carlisle requested. I knew I would have to explain, The letters. It was something that I would hope I wouldn't have to do.

"Bella, How are you really feeling?" Carlisle softly spoke.

"I'm a little sore but I think I am okay. I mean I'm very confused, I don't understand why I am here. I know you explained it all to me but I still don't understand why you returned now. I...I...Did alice see everything that was going to happen, I mean why I was coming to your house. Did you read the letters? Is he here?" I didn't want to say his name, I couldn't let Carlisle see me even more messed up.

"It's okay to be confused and yes Alice saw why you were coming to the house. Including what you were planning to do afterwards. She was very upset, she even cried. Esme, Alice and myself found you while the other three went to do another special task. When they returned they went to find your truck and bring it back to the house. That's when Emmett found the box. With Emmett being Emmett he read his and we are so very sorry about everything that has happened. I've talked to Dr. Grady and we know about Charlie, I speak for the family when I say that we are sorry for your loss. If I would have known that any of this would have happened I would have put a stop to it. I thought that you both would have been stronger then you were. I wish I would have stopped this before It got out of hand."

You could see the pain in his eyes as he told me this. It was as if he was fighting an internal battle.

"Carlisle. . . . .What are you not telling me?"

"We read the letters Bella, I know we should have waited but Emmett, well he was upset to say the least. At the time he only read his letter not realizing what they truly were. For Emmett to get upset means a lot because it takes a lot for him to get upset. Jasper took him for a brotherly walk, to get him to cool off. Esme came home early and started to panic because her boys were gone. Knowing the boys like she dose she could only imagine what kind of trouble they were getting into. She was certain that they were going to do something that would regret. So in trying to claim Esme down the boys returned and everyone was given their letter. Everyone except for Edward. We didn't know, we had hoped you would be okay. we have been just as lost as you have been. I know it's a lot to ask but please forgive us, please forgive me. I should have done more to stop Edward but he's my son and...well...I had to choose between my son and my daughter. I chose wrong."

I couldn't say anything, I just listened as this man who was just as much a father to me as my own dad poured his heart out.

"Before I say anything else I must know. do you still wish to leave us, this world. Do you still want to die?"

How do I answer this, how could I tell the father of my dearest Edward I wanted to die, I wanted to die that day in the wood when I heard him tell me "I don't want you anymore". I couldn't live in a world full of hurt, a world where I would be without love.

"I don't know how to answer you, I felt alone. I'm lost with out Edward, he was the better half of me. Then I lost my dad, what do you do when the last person you had left in this cruel world who loved you dies. I couldn't breath, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I never wanted to leave my bed, I couldn't do anything. I was useless." I rolled over so I couldn't face him anymore. As carlisle came closer I could fell him pick me up, he cradled me as you would a small child I buried my face as my tears fell while he rocked me.

"My Dear Bella, I'm sorry for you pain and I wish I could take it away. We couldn't let you die, you are the missing piece of our family. Trust me when I say we have been just as lost as you have. Alice stopped shopping, Emmett and Rosalie away fought. Jasper would stay away for days at a time. I couldn't focus on my work, while esme couldn't stop burying herself in her work."

"I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, you did nothing wrong. I don't ever want to her yourself blame yourself for anything that has happened."

"Why is Alice so sad, did something happen to Jasper?"

Alice is just really worried right now, things really were stressful for a while. She'll be okay soon. Jasper is fine, he's hunting right now. He will come and see you as soon as he gets back.

"Carlisle why didn't you give Edward his letter, is he upset I'm here I mean if he is I can leave. I've caused your family enough trouble."

"No dear, that's not the reason. I need to tell you something, well explain something. I need you to understand why Edward left then I'll explain everything else." after a long pause he began again "Edward struggled with the decision to leave, it wasn't an easy decision to make either. I know Edward loves you, I've never seen him happier. The easiest way I can explain it is that he left you to protect you. He let his mind get in the way of his heart. He has been a mess since we moved and it only got worse until he left three weeks later. He said he needed to be alone, he said it was to much to be around us. I knew he would come home soon so I let him leave. We haven't seen Edward until two weeks ago."

"Carlisle you said that when you found me. Did he leave again because I got hurt?"

"No he didn't leave, he was on his way back to you. Alice saw his decision to come back and beg for forgiveness, he couldn't stay away any longer. On his way back there was an accident. There was a rock slide that buried him under about 25ft of rock" I cut Carlisle off there.

"Why are you here with me, why didn't you go after him. He could be hurt, I wont let you choose me over your son, you have to go after him. You have too."

I pleaded, it sounded as if I was demanding but I couldn't help it. Edward was a vampire, if he was found they would hurt him. He could be hurt now. There were so many things wrong right now. I couldn't even think about anything else.

"Bella, please calm down let me explain. Edward was hurt, he wasn't taken really good care of his self after he left you. Even thought he is a vampire and unbreakable, he's very sick right now. He went into a depression just like you did. The best way to explain is that he is in a coma right now. Because he wasn't feeding as often as he should he was really weak and when the rocks fell on him it was just to much for him to handle. His body shut down, went into what we call a sleep state"

"Where is he?" I asked as tears started to form.

"In his room."

"He's here now, in this house. I need to see him, please let me."

"Bella, I..." I cut him off quick, He was not going to keep me away, not now.

"No carlisle, I want to see him. I need to see him. He may not share the feelings I have for him but I still love him and I still need him. Let me see him."

Carlisle agreed to let me go. I got up from my bed and Carlisle helped me put a robe on. If felt really strange to stand up again, even though I was awake it was like everything in my body was now waking up.

I held onto Carlisle hand, while he had his hand around my waist for support and we slowly made our way to his room. I walked in and to my surprise it was just the same as it was when I last saw it. Well now there was a massive bed in corner, there were a few new picture that I didn't remember. They were of us, the one of me that caught my eye was the one that was drawn on a sheet of music. The notes of my lullaby were surrounding the drawing of me. It was absolutely breath taken.

I let go of Carlisle hand and slowly made my way to the bed. He was laying there, so peaceful, so still. My dearest Edward was hurt. The life that once made him so gentle, so kind was missing. The glow he brought to the room with the many talents was gone. The crocked smile that would make my knee weak was no longer there. He looked dead, for the first time I was truly scared that he would never return to me. The closer I got the dizzier I became, I needed him to be okay.

"Carlisle can you fix him. He's going to be okay right, You have to. He can't leave me again."

With that, memories flooded in my mind. The joy he brought me, the happiness he left in my heart. The pain of the day he left me, the pain the months after he left brought to me. The loss of my father. My already broken heart was breaking again. That was all I could take before everything went black. The last thing I heard was Alice telling Emmett to catch me.

*Sorry guys for the delay in writing this chapter. It was a little hard to write. Let me know what you think and I will update as soon as possible. Thanks again for reading and looking forward to reading that reviews.


	24. Ch 19: Memories and Secrests

Hello everyone, thank for being patient with me. My life had taken on a couple of new unexpeted project. I have recently had to start caring for my 67 year old uncle who has altimers. It is very new to me. This is going to be a longer chapter because it is three filler chapters in one. I have a few other things I want to put up that I feel would give some of what is going on in Edwards mind. I'll let you get started and check out the author's note at the bottom. Enjoy and as always I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV

As I laid in my bed completely wondering if everything that happened yesterday was in fact a dream. Did I really see Edward, was Carlisle and Esme really here. Was Rosalie really fixing my truck. Finally I opened my eyes, I soon found out that I wasn't dreaming. I'm in the Cullen house alright, Esme definetly decorated this room. I looked around and found no one was here. I slowly made my was to the door and still no one. I didn't hear anything but the popping noises the my body made. Maybe Alice didn't see me or they went hunting or maybe I really was dreaming. I let me feet guide me and before I knew it I was standing in front of Edward's door.

"Edward" I whispered as I opened his door but there was know answer.

As I came into view of him I could feel the tears fall from my eyes again. He had a bed now, it was in the corner and his room was dim. Curtain now covered his windows that surrounded his room. The once open feeling you had was now closed off. I was afraid and the closer I got the more the fear took over. I wanted to see him, I needed to see him. As I stepped up I noticed that there were dark circles under his eyes, a mix of purples almost black in some areas, his skin was a ghostly white, to the point where it was translucent in some areas. His normal color was gone as well as the healthy glow that once made Edward look like a god. My edward was sick, very very sick.

I carefully laid down next to him, I snuggled right up to him like I used to. It surprised me that we still fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. I gently place my hand on his chest just over his heart, I knew that it wouldn't beat but I couldn't help it. I didn't realize the amount of time that passed us by but I didn't care. "Please Edward , don't leave me again." I said this over and over again, I knew I would fall asleep soon. I was tired, so tired, my crying eyes didn't help matters either. I was to tired to fight anymore, so I finally let sleep take over me with Edward by my side.

Carlisle pov

I decided to stay home and watch over the children I needed to do some much needed research. however it is not as easy as you think. You can't just go and google "How to fix a vampire." I was a doctor and have been a doctor for two centuries but I couldn't fix my own son. I did however figure out a way to feed him. I take a needle full of blood and slowly drip into his mouth. The process was slow but it was the only way for him to get the food his body required. We tried to feed him at night only because every time we would try to separate him and Bella there would be tears involed and everyone trying to reassure Bella that Edward wasn't going anywhere. I wish I could help my son. Because in helping him I would be able to help bella.

Bella on the other hand is doing very well when it comes down to healing from her injuries she had. Emotionally Bella was far from being okay. She barely ate but is eating more then she did when she first woke up. When we move her out of Edward's room she wake up screaming from nightmare or wakes up on the verge of a panic attacks. She never leaves his room and is always talking to him. I believe she has told him everything except for the time after he left her. That time is still some what a mystery for must of us.

"Carlisle , dear, where is Bella?"

"Esme, I didn't hear you come in, I was lost in my thoughts again."

"I know dear, but where is Bella."

"In her room, I didn't move her back when I was finished with Edward."

"No, she must be awake. She's not in there."

"There is only one place she would be."

With that we headed up to Edward's room. there we found a sleeping Bella and Edward. Esme ever so gentle grab an extra blanket and laid it around Bella to keep her warm, this was a bitter sweet moment. She was snuggled up into his side. she moved his arm so it literally looked like he had his arm around her.

"Carlisle will things be okay, will our son come back to us. I'm not for sure how much more Bella can take, I'm not for sure how much more I can take." My beautiful wife is the truly the heart of this family. My fear is that if Edward doesn't wake up soon and stays like this, it will break her heart. And will cause Bella more pain.

"I will do everything I can to help them. They will be fine in time and hopefully together again sooner than later." I told her, I'm not for sure what else to tell her.

"Edward come back to me please, don't go" bella spoke out

"Dear the other children will be home soon, Alice and Jasper said they would be quick and Emmett and Rose will be back in a few hours. I'm going to head out for a run to clear my mind and think about what to do next." I told esme as she walked over towards me

She gently placed her hand on the side of my face and spoke the most loving words she ever could " I Love you Carlisle Cullen, you are a wonderful man and husband. You are a wonderful father and friend and you are an amazing Doctor. I have watched you save both vampires and humans. You will fix our son, it may take time but I know he will be with us again soon. He will be up and about, the sounds of the piano will fill the house once again, Bella's laughter will fill the house along with Edward's. Alice and him will discuss what he has missed while Rosalie shows him her handy work on the trucks and the other cars. Jasper will have his brotherly take while Emmett will see if he can beat Edward at the lasted game. Good times will fill the house once again and make it our home. Our home where all of our children are here, safely under one roof and happy. And do you want to know how this happened?"

"How"

"Because you cared and loved us enough not to give up on us. Your love and determination will bring our family together again. Now go and clear your mind. When I see you again I want to see a smile on that face mister."

"You my dear are an amazing woman and I'm so lucky to have you as my wife, I love you. I promise, I wont be to long." And with a kiss I left for my run

Bella's POV

I woke up a few hour later. It was nice to wake up next to Edward, that is until I started to move. I was sore from head to toe. You would think that I would be getting better but felt like I was getting worse. As I laid there running my fingers over his chest he didn't move or tense up like he had done before. He didn't even breath, it wasn't like he had too but he did it anyway. My happiness soon turned to sadness.

"Edward remember when..." I began to tell him. "Remember when you came over one night to give me a good night kiss. Remember how I wouldn't let you leave, We stayed up almost all night talking. I remember how you kept trying to get me to go to sleep saying that 'love you need your sleep' you promised would hold me close as I slept the night away. I would fall asleep listening to you hum my very own lullaby. Every morning I would thank my lucky stars because you were still there. That I was the lucky one to capture the ever available Edward Cullen's heart. I was surrounded every morning with your love...I will tell you a memories as often as I can, I need you more than you'll ever know." As I began to get out of bed I noticed Alice sitting in the chair.

"Alice...How long have you been there."

"Long enough."

"OH, Well I guess you heard what I said to Edward."

"Yeah.." Alice said as she turned her head to face the floor "I'm so very sorry about all this. I hated Edward for making us leave, it wasn't fair. I'm sorry about your dad, I would have been here if I would have known. I want so many things but what I want the most I may not be able to have again."

"Alice everything is okay, some things happen that we can't control. It really is okay."

"Bella, please don't leave us we need you Edward needs you even if he doesn't want to realize it. Our family is not the same without you. And most of all I need you, can we try and be friends again and maybe even one day we can be best friends again. I...I..mean that is if you want to. You..."

"Alice stop right there, We will always be best friends and what happened, well it happened and now we have to forget about it. Just promise me when your brother wakes up and decided that he doesn't want me here that we can still have a friendship. "

"Oh Bella, you will not have to worry about that. He will want you and if he doesn't we will kick him out. I don't think any of us would let you go and not be included in our live every again. Now I'm going to let you get up and get dressed and Esme is going to make you breakfast and then we can..."

"Slow down there Alice. One thing at a time, how about I meet you down stairs in about 20 minutes."

"Yeah we'll start with that, I have a feeling you are going to be hungry."

With that my stomach gave me away. I couldn't remember the last time I actually ate. As Alice was leaving she gave me a hug an whispered I Love you. I was headed for a shower. A nice long hot shower. I found my over night bag Alice brought from my house. Of course everything in the bag just happened to be things Alice had bought me and nothing comfortable. She did however get me my favorite pair of jeans. I made my way to Edward closet to look for a comfy shirt. I knew there were shirts in here that Alice was told to leave alone. Finally I found one of his chicago t-shirt and put it on. When I was leaving I noticed a box at the top of his closet, it was labeled "..Mia bella, Mia amour" It means "My Bella, My Love" in italian. I left the box there for now but I wanted to know what was in the box. Curiosity killed the did kill the cat.

I finally made my way down stairs to a breakfast that would have feed a small army or Emmett if he was still human.

"Oh Esme, there is so much food. I'm not ever going to be able to eat all of this."

"I tend to get carried away, Please now sit down and eat. We need to fatten you up a little. she said with a giggle."

Esme is such a mom at times. I swear nothing gets past this woman, I think it is why we all love her so much. Esme and I talked for about an hour before I excused myself and went back up to Edward's room. there he laid in the same lifeless statue as he was earlier when I left him. I curled up next to him once again and drifted off to sleep.

I woke a few hours later, sleeping longer than 3 or 4 hours was not something that I did often. With Edward still a sleeping statue and my curiosity at an all time high I went for the box. I made my way to his closet where I knew I would find the box and pulled down the box. As I slowly opened the box nothing could have prepared me for what I found.

There were pictures of us, one I took before my birthday, pictures of random times when Alice would catch us being cute. Pictures of him a graduations, some with the Cullen family, some alone. He has apparently graduated hight school about 12 times. There were college degrees in music and medicine, mostly medicine . The was a CD case that had a lot of his composition in it. Each member of the family had their own CD of music created by Edward that would fit their personality. In the back of the book was a CD title Bella's lullaby. At the very end of the book was the CD' that made my jaw drop to the floor it was title "Mia Bella, Mia Amore" with a note that said to be played at our wedding.

I took the box and back went into his room. I took the CD out and place it in the strero. As I pressed play. The most amazing vice started to speak.

_"To my dearest Bella, my beautiful wife, I've dreamed of this day since I meet you. You have given my dead heart a reason to beat once again. One day I will play this for you but now I'm happy to be dancing with you here in my arms. I love you my beautiful bella, my beautiful wife."_

I listened to the most beautiful melody fill the room, the music flowed so effortlessly. It was perfect. I found pictures of his family, he really looked a lot like his mom. He definently gets his hair from his father. I found the new paper clippings of his death as well as his parents deaths. I found other clipping of historical events, Wars, D-Day, openings of a new hospital wing. Which was made possible by a private donation. There in this box was his most precious memories. He included me in this box, I was a memory. At the bottom of the box I found a couple of journals and poems. I carefully opened the journal to the last page and read the entry. It was the day he decided to leave me behind. I read and read and read it again as tears fell down my face like a rain storm that wouldn't end. He lied, he loved me but he lied. He didn't want to leave me, he still loved me...Carlisle was right. I was so thankful he lied to me but sad that he left, that he felt he had to do this to protect me. I made my way back to Edward's side and gently laid a soft kiss on his forehead followed by an I love You and once again curled up next to him and let sleep take me away again. I would worry about the rest of the world tomorrow and sleep peacefully tonight knowing that Edward loved me and was here with me tonight.

Okay I have one poem to put up and I will be putting it up in the next few days. We are one chapter from Edward waking up. I have three different version of the chapter, give me a little feed back and let me know how you would like Edward to wake up and let Bella know that is okay. As always I thank everyone for their review and staying with me through everything. Hope you all enjoy.

P.S. The one chapter in the way of waking up our dear Edward is the Poem.


	25. authors note

Hello All,

I am writing this Authors Note to let you all know what has been going and at the same time pray that I haven't lost any of the readers/fans that I had. Three weeks ago I lost the best thing I had in my life. My grandmother passed away. My grandmother was my rock in many ways, she always found a way to make things right. She was my biggest fan in everything that I did. She was the one person who loved me with no questions asked. I kinda of lost myself for a while and even though things are a little better I still miss my grandmother. She was the heart of the family. Right now I'm sure right now she would kick my ass for not getting on with things

Now for better news after this authors note the next chapter will be posted almost instantly. So I hope you get this first. I have outlined an wrote most of the rest of the story during my stay at the hospital with my grandmother. I want to sincerely thank each one of you who reads my story and leave me a review or even an alert. It truly means a lot to me. I hope you like the next chapter it was not part of the original plan but one of my readers requested something from Edward's Pov. So here it is. I really hope I did it justice and gave you a little more insight of what was going on with our Dearest Edward. I also wanted you guys to know that I do listen to what you have to say. Let me know what you think and once again thank you.

Sincerely

Suzanne


	26. Chap 20: My Days

Hello Again I hope you all read the A/N that was sent out before this chapter. It will explain alot. As usual I don't own anything twilight related and am doing this for fun. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks for staying with me through the hard times.

My Days

Edward Pov

I couldn't remember much but I knew that voice, I've heard it many times before. It was Carlisle, my father. You could hear the pain in his voice.

_ "Son it's been a while since I've seen you and I'm not liking what I'm seeing now. I have to tell you the truth, it's bad and I'm not for sure what I can do to fix this. I have called and talked with a few people and they are going to help me figure out how to make you better. I'm trying to see a way to feed you in this state as well. Mind you it is a state that you put yourself in. But I'm thinking that if you regain your strength then you will wake up. I should have been stronger and made you see reason. We should have never left. I will find a way to make all of this better again..."_

I didn't understand why I could hear him but couldn't see him. I also didn't understand why I could feel pain, I couldn't even move. What was wrong me, what have I done.

As I tried to think about the things that I've done that could have lead up to this. The more I tried the more the pain seemed to get stronger eventually I zoned out until I heard my brother.

"_Hey bro, we all miss you. I'm not for sure if you can hear me or not but dude you scared the shit out of me. I'm trying to be the goof ball of a brother you remember but it's getting harder each day. You made Rosie cry, Jasper went into shock. Mom and Dad are a mess and poor Alice is almost mental for real this time. I mean the kind of mental that will put you in a padded room. You made her cry too, real tears Edward. I have never seen anything like it in my whole life, I hope never to see anything like that every again. When we found you, we thought you were dead..."_

Found me. What dose he mean found me? What in the hell is going on? I wondered as my brother went on.

_" Rose screamed, I panicked to the point where dad had to scream at me to calm me down. Edward he screamed at me...Like really screamed at me."_

I couldn't help but laugh at that, I just wanted to tell him that it would not be that last time that our father screamed at him.

_ "When we finally got you home we thought that we were going to be able to relax. Mom, Dad and Alice went to get Bella, we thought that everything would be okay. We were driving towards our house in Forks and past Bella's truck. Dude it was bad, She human bro...HUMAN. Those damn lawson brothers left her for dead. Our little sister, your mate left for dead on the side of the damn road like an animal. It took everything Jasper had to hold me back form killing them right then in there once we found out. Then when we got home I thought mom was going to rip our limbs off and light the match herself. I have never seen her that mad and scared. She thought something had happened to us as well, dude we are still grounded. _

_ And Bella, man she's a mess even she is still not awake yet but she is still a messed. Why did you have to be so difficult, you had to know that his would have happened. She wrote us all letters, they were good bye letters. Edward she what going to kill herself. I overheard what Dr. Grady said to dad, she was a mess after you left, then Charlie died and then she just gave up. I should beat your ass now, I should...I really should...Well I will figure out what I want to do to you but you have to wake up and fix this." _

Not meaning to but it seemed like I slowly zoned out until it was almost like I was sleeping. I knew that my dad came to see me as well as my mom and other members of my family. They all had the same plea, the were worried to say the least.

I felt my bed move as if someone was getting in to it. They move my arm and snuggled right up to me. It was Alice, I recognized her scent and she is the only one that fit like this. When she curls up next to me it like she's a small child, a small child who is now sad. Then I felt the strangest thing, it was cold even to me and wet. Alice was crying, I've made her cry...Emmett wasn't being a drama queen. As she continued to cry flashes of events ran through her mind and slowly the events of the last 8 months were replaying through her mind. When her flashes turned into full on visions I started to remember and the pain ripped that ripped through my body at the realization of what I alone caused. The pain I brought to my family and to my beautiful Bella.

I remembered the fateful day I looked Bella in the eyes when I slowly broke her heart piece by piece. I could see the pain as I told her I didn't want her...I could feel the pain and it was worse than being ripped apart when she said that she wasn't enough. She will always be enough. As I place one last gentle kiss on the top of her head, I savored every second that it took and as the wind blew the strawberry scent all around me it would be a memory I would never forget. It would be the memory of the day that I broke the heart of my love in order to save her from the life like this. The life of a monster.

I couldn't think about what my heart wanted, I couldn't let myself give in to the temptation to stay. To grab her in my arm and hold her tight, never to let her go again but I couldn't. I had to leave, If I left then the danger that came with me and my family would also leave. So I ran, I ran far away form Bella Swan. Leaving behind the only woman I have ever loved. Leaving behind my heart, leaving it in her care. As long a my beautiful Bella lived then I would be okay or so I thought.

Slowly I started staying away form everyone. They had what I wanted they had love, their mate and they had what I gave up. There were arguments, fights and looks of disappointment daily. Once I got so upset at Rosalie that I went after her. I was seriously going to break both of her hands off and burn them. Not thinking I would get myself killed in the process. I forgot about Emmett, how could you forget about Emmett my bear of a brother.

I was so lost in rage that I forgot how Emmett was when Rosalie safety was concerned. Hell it's how we all are when our mates are in danger. It wouldn't matter if it was Rosalie or a member of the family, Emmett would kill without thinking twice.

I remember us fighting for about twenty minutes until I found myself taped to the wall with so much duck tape I'll be lucky the wall doesn't come down when I could finally move. 

That was the day that I hit rock bottom. The day I tried to take my brothers mate, I was not better than a killer. I had done to Emmett what Jasper did to me when he went after Bella. That was the day I told my parents I was leaving. I needed to get away I couldn't stand being around my family. A family that I hurt, that I took a friend and sister from. I was truly a disappointment. So I did the only thing I could do, I left.

I had a cabin in a very secluded area of Yellow Stone National Park. That is where I've been hiding for the last eight months. Living in my own personal hell. a hell I created. on rare occasions i would leave to feed but only to keep my strength up. I would call to check in but not to often. most of the time I would sit i the window and watch as time ever so slowly passed me by. It's mocking me, laughing at me.

When you can live forever and gave up the only thing worth living for, how do you find the strength to live. You don't and finally after time stops meaning anything I slowly gave up. I fought with myself daily on weather I should go to Bella or not. It's been eight months and counting. I gave up and decided that I had no choice I was going back I would beg for her to let me earn her love again . So I left and began my way back to Bella, back to my life, my heart.

I decided I would take the path that ran along the Hurricane Ridge Mountains. NOt knowing that Would end up being one big mistake. Before I knew what was happening I was laying under tons of crumbled rock. i couldn't move, everything was dark and dismal. It was a morbid feeling, I wonder if this is what it would feel like to be buried alive. My body felt like I was in a head on collision with a Mac truck. I kept thinking to myself that this was it, I needed to stay awake but oddly enough I couldn't find the strength to. It was like I was overcome with exhaustion. Vampires don't sleep, we don't need to. Within minutes I realized I would never see my family again I would never tell carlisle how sorry I was for hurting him or tell Esme how much she has meant to me as a mother figure. I would miss Rose, Em, Jasper and my pixie of sister Alice. Would I get my family in trouble if they found me. The last thing I remembered was thinking in my selfishness I hurt the only women I've every loved and could have sealed my family's fate with the Volturi.

Apparently that was two months ago. In the last few weeks I've gotten stronger. Currently it's feeding time again, I know it childish but it is my favorite time of the day. It is slowly giving my my strength back and hopefully I'll wake up soon. I know when I do it will give my family some piece of mind. I know soon I will get my wish. As my father left the room my thoughts lingered on Bella. It was pure torture when she would lay down next to me and tell me stories. She would would cry on the daily bases. Each tear would break my heart even more. What killed me the most is when she had another nightmare about a week ago. 

I laid there with her curled up next to me like she has done since she has woke up. I would catch her crying herself to sleep some nights and normally on those nights she would have nightmares. Alice would be able to calm her down most of the times but that night was different.

_That Night..._

_ If I calculated right it would be almost time for Bella to come back to bed. Carlisle would feed me in the late afternoon. It was during that time that the ladies of the house would take Bella away form me. Esme would cook Bella dinner and make her eat, while Rose and Alice would talk with her. After that she would take her shower and crawl into bed and curl up next to me. Strawberries and Freesia filled the room as memories of me holding her so many times and nights ago. Hopes that tonight would be a peaceful night were soon dashed when screams flew out of her mouth. I laid there helpless as she thrashed around the bed. No doubt she would have bruising in the morning form this. Emmett and Emse rushed in the room, I could see the images of Bella through Emmett's mind and they hurt to watch. _

"_Bella dear you have to wake up for me, come on my dear wake up." Esme pleaded " I brought your big teddy bear with me. You have to wake up my dear..." _

"_Come here Bells I gotcha, tell me how to make it better. You know I will in a heart beat. That's it, let me see the beautiful brown eyes." _

"_Oh Em, I..I wasn't enough...I wasssn't good. I tried to find him, I got lost again. Then I heard him say that he didn't love me. Why couldn't be enough, why." As Bella said those words I knew I would never be able to forget how I broke her. _

"_Oh Bella, we've told you why and I know you read the letter in his box. Edward tends to over think things way to much. You were the best thing that happened to him. I know that he loves you and when he wakes up he will show."_

"_My dear come on would like to go back to bed now, I'll put on some music." Esme said. _

_I felt the bed dip down as I assume Emmett put her back down then it dipped again as Esme set next to her as Bella fell asleep again. Esme thoughts were loud and clear._

_I was in for one hell of an ass chewing when I woke up..._

I wish I would have done things differently but I didn't. Now I will forever and a day make it up to her. My mother came in for our daily conversation.

"My dearest son you know we love you and you know that Bella, your sister and your brothers love you. We need you to come back to us now. Our family is not complete without you. Your father is afraid you will sleep the next hundred years. But don't worry if that is the case we will take care of you, you know that. However Bella will not survive your sleep unless we change her. You know we are all she has left now and she is an important part of this family. If what your father has found is true then I know you can hear me and everything that has happened around you. If it is true then you know that I'm not having my family fall apart again. Carlisle and I are going on a walk, he's really stressed out right now. He blames himself for everything that has happened to the family and the pain that we have gone through. He'll find a way to make you well again, I know he will. Well enough of my rambling your father and I need to have our walk now. I have left strict instructions with your brothers to behave. I love you son, now wake up."

Leaving me in my brothers hands could only lead to trouble, I remember the stories Bella told when Em destroyed her room while she was still asleep. Now all I have to do is figure out when I'm going to wake up and what is Esme talking about me sleeping for a hundred years.

Carlisle POV

I have dealt with my son be comatose for almost two month now and I'm no closer to making him well. His color is returning but that is about the only change. Many of nights I've had my head in the books for weeks and still nothing. After careful consideration I called an old friend, I called Marcus Volturi. I explained what was going on and ask for any help he could give me. Two hours later I received a phone call that lead me to this.

_A Vampire Curse _

_For pain and sorrow you shall rep _

_A 100 years of sleep you'll keep _

_In a world so dark and grey_

_Where only sounds and memories will play _

_Is now where you lay _

_Crimes of the heart were made _

_Now your debt must be paid _

_In the daylight of tomorrow when the sun is low _

_The curse can be lifted when everything _

_Is alined in a time thats a new _

_On the eve of a new moon when the stars shine bright _

_The one whose heart is unbreakable needs _

_To feel the tears of the ones whose heart was broken _

_On the third day within seven on a day of an eclipse _

_A world completely covered in darkness you will find_

_When the dawns about to break a tear must be shed _

_The unbreakable must be broken, the pain must be felt_

_Until the wrong can be forgiven _

_Only then the peace you seek you shall gain _

_A love will be born in the twilight of the night. _

_When true love tears are mixed together with a kiss_

_This unbreakable bond between souls will last till the end of time. _

_A broken heart to mend you must _

_A second chance was given, so need be warned._

_They will not be given again and in the end you will be morned. _

Now I just have to figure it out. Esme and I have talked and talked and talked some more. She feels that this is a good sign and we just have to have faith. Alice and Emmett are trying to figure out when the skies above are going to be in our favor. So now we just have to wait and hope for the best.

Let me know what you think and review. Have fun and enjoy the week... Until next time.


	27. Chap 21: Moving Stone

Hello all I hope you all like this chapter. It is kind of leading up to a point that we have all been waiting for. After thinking long and hard this is what I have come up with. It is a version of the three different ones that I wrote. As Always I do not own twilight. Please forgive me for the delay.

On with the show

Chapter 21: Moving Stone

Carlisle Pov

A week has past and still my son shows no signs of improvement. I've tried to figure out the vampire curse but it is confusing to say the least. In my very long life I've only ever heard of a total darkness, I've never witnessed it. To have complete and total darkness around the whole world would indeed be a sight to be seen. I've found records of it happening once every four hundred years. Plus I've only ever seen a vampire cry under extreme conditions, it's a rare sight to see and outside my family I've only seen it twice. Both times the vampires were awake. As my darling wife so graciously puts it "hope Carlisle, it's the one thing we have to have and it's the one thing we can loose." I have to agree with her we have to have faith that everything will be okay.

I began to stuff my nose in my books again when I was quickly interrupted by a commotion down stairs. I only hope that Emmett is not involved. If he breaks anything else I'm afraid that Esma will put him in a coma as well. That's all I need another one of my sons in a coma. At least I would know how to fix his.

Emmett's POV

After weeks of boredom I decided that it was time for some fun. I was going to hunt down my paint ball guns since my beautiful Rosie hide them from me. Last time I used them I kinda got into trouble, I couldn't help it that the sofa jumped in front of me. But that was about 7 years ago I'm sure that it's okay to play with them again.

I was going to war. My target Mr. Jasper Whitlock, his crimes, well lets just say he has commented treason against all mankind. He's encouraged his wife to go shopping and the evil little pixie has convinced my Rosie, my sweet beautiful Rosie to go as well. Ohhhhhhh the agony! The pain! It has to stop and it will stop TODAY. He has agreed with her every time she wants to go shopping as well as volunteered me of all people to go with them to carry their bags. Every man will agree with me when I say his crimes are punishable by paint ball death. It is the manly way to die. Alice my dear sweet sister dose not needs any help or encouragement when it comes to shopping. She's the one who invented the term shopaholic; you can find it in any dictionary with a picture of Alice next to it. I'm sure of it, I put it there myself.

So for the last three days I have been hiding ammo, setting up, getting all my hiding spots ready just waiting for the big day where the ladies of the house go shopping minus Bella and the guys stay home. In other words let the games begin.

"Jazzy were leaving, promise me you will behave and don't do anything stupid." Alice said as while bouncing down the stairs

"I promise darling, we both know I'll win anyway." Jasper said while placing a kiss on her head.

"Awww how cute is this, its the pixie and her little soldier boy...Owww what's that for."

"You know what's its for. Now, Emmett promise me you'll not make a mess, keep it in the woods, don't come anywhere near the house and don't do anything stupid. Please remember what I am telling you, I want to come home to my husband in one piece not multiple. Don't for get what Esme said last time you played with your paint ball gun. I will miss you if she kills you." Rosalie ever so graciously told me. Me doing something stupid...NEVER!

"Awww babe you're no fun."

"I know but you love me now give me a kiss you big teddy bear and enjoy your war games and don't forget to behave."

As the girls left the house I couldn't wait until the games started. Jasper went up to talk to Carlisle and I went to check up on Bella. As usual she was curled up next to Edward in a little ball. I swear if my brother doesn't wake up soon she is going to age like a hundred years in a day with the way she going.

"Alright bro, lets do this. First person to get hit with all ten colors is out. If I win you have to wear neon plaid shorts with a strip color shirt, A helicopter rainbow beanie hat and black rimmed glassed and suspenders. For shoes you have to trade your best pair of tennis shoes for a pair from a homeless man and you have to do this for a week."

"Are you trying to get me killed? Alice will have a fashion fit, I wont be aloud in the bedroom all week."

"What's wrong, are you going to chicken out on me."

"Okay game on bro, but if I win you and Rosalie can't share the bed for a week and this includes intimate relations as well. Meaning No Sex. I will make for sure the Rosalie is like a plague for a week. That way I will know that you will not want to go near her for a week."

"Jasper, man your trying to get us both killed? After our week of punishment we will have to do some major but kissing to the girls. I can see it now..shopping trips, vacations to Paris, I might even have to live through another wedding ceremony."

"Deal" we both said at the same time and then took off running. Three hours later I was covered in paint I had 6 colors to Jaspers 3. As usual Jasper was winning and without even realizing it I was running through the house again. Running through our front yard, through the garden, I may have step one of the rose bushes. Up the stairs, around the coach, over the roof, through the garage and racing back to the woods we went. As I was about to nail Jasper again when we both froze with fear as screams came form the house

"Dude I think we should run to Canada now. Maybe we need to leave the continent." I told jasper

"It's all your fault, I don't think Antarctica it far enough away." Jasper said

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN AND JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN GET YOUR BUTS IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW."

Esme screamed.

We walked into the living room slowly. Carlisle was in the top corner of the staircase trying not to laugh at us, as we both knew we were in trouble.

"It his fault" Jasper quickly shouted.

"Trying to play momma's boy is not going to work Jasper."

"Haha…owwww.!"

"Don't try your mother's patients." Carlisle said

"There is a mess in My House." She started off. I'm not for sure if she was talking to us or herself as she paced the room. "I know this mess was not here when I left. I was sure that the piano was not missing a leg, the flowers were in their vases, and my walls were still ONE color. I'm almost positive that there was not dirt on my WHITE floors. We were able to eat off my floors when I left. I have a feeling that I'm going to kill you both if I look at the rest of the house. You're both grounded for the next 100 years or until your brother wakes up. I will inform the girls and will figure out a punishment. I want my house CLEANED, GET THIS MESS CLEANED UP NOW. I don't want to even see the tiniest dust bunny in the corner of the attic. I want it to be done within the next two hours. Do you both understand me, did I forget anything? Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

" Um….Esme I'm truly sorry. Em and I got a little carried away. But we will clean it up and make it just like new." Jasper very politely said. He was clearly trying the momma's boy card for sure.

"Suck up"

"Emmett" Esme yelled

"Yeah, Right, what he said. Is now a good time to tell you that I may have stepped on one of your rose bushes."

I guess that was not the time to say that. I swear I saw her face get red and her eye twitch. That is very hard for a vampire to do.

It took some talent. I have done it again. I am in deep trouble. I wonder if I'll get to see my Rosie again. You know that look you get that tells you that you are grounded for life if you make it to live to see another day. Well that is the look that my dear sweet mother is currently giving me.

"EMMETT, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"

Given my size it doesn't take much to make me scared but I was currently terrified. If only I listened. Carlisle came down the stairs and grabbed his wife and very carefully convinced her that I was her son and that she loved me even though I was trouble and that it would hurt her to much if she was to kill me. At that time I couldn't be more thankful of my father. Although I'm sure that I was still in trouble.

"It's the girls something is wrong with Alice." Jasper said getting everyone's attention and quick. Within seconds we were out side and waiting for them to pull up.

"Emmett get Bella away from Edward now. I can't see it, I just can't see it." Alice said while Jasper was quick to her aid.

It was a miracle that she slept through the yelling down stairs but she did. She was right where we left her, curled up into Edward's side. Every so gently I scooped her up and took her to my room which was upstairs. While everyone else pilled in Edwards room. Without any warning the most awful cracking sounds started to echo through the house. I didn't want to know what caused them. My thoughts were interrupted when Alice said, "It's Edward, He's waking up.

A/N For those of you that are still with me I would love to say thank you. Hope your holidays were wonderful. I'm getting better each day and now I've found the strength to start writing again. Don't worry Edward's pov is coming up next.


	28. Chap 22: To The Beat of a Heart

Hello again, I didn't want you all to wait long for the next chapter so here it is.

Chapter 22: To the Beat of a Heart

Edward's pov

"_Nightmares are dreams you hope would never happen and feel relieved when you wake up even if it's in a cold sweat. The heart beats ten times faster like you've run a mile yet you do nothing but toss and turn in the bed. The mind shambles as the migraine comes resulting to the beads of sweat coming down you face yet sleep is supposed to give you peace of mind. The pitiful soul is silently screaming for you to wake up the body lying underneath the blankets yet it can't seem to perceive sound: too distracted to pay attention to anything but the darkness. Why can't we ignore the darkness and turn to the soul instead? Save us from all the trepidations and fatigue… do demons or other fictional character really exist and play with our mind at night? Or is it just us." Author unknown but talented._

A nightmare is what I have been living for he last few days, or what I hope has been a few days. There for a while I could feel my family and listen to Bella when she came to bed but slowly I figure I was crazy and pushed it all out of my mind. It was clearly my mind playing tricks on me. How and why would I get to be lucky enough to have everything that I threw away? I can feel again but everything hurts. I feel like Emmett has used me for a punching bag. Better yet a train wreck would describe how I really feel. The gentle beating of the heart is humming to me just like the sweetest lullaby. It's a lullaby that I've heard before. It's human. The fragrance that fills that the air is that of strawberries and freesia. It's human too. As I listened to the beat of the heart, I kept thinking it's human.

It's human.

It's human.

It's Bella, my Bella.

Just as fast as I realize that Bella was lying next to me she was gone. Just like before gone. Was this a sick trick my mind was playing on me? Then the scent hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a vampire, a vampire had my Bella. That can't be right, as I thought about it there was only one person who had that scent. It was Emmett, but why would he take Bella away from me. He knew the love I held for her, why would he do that.

While thinking, I opened my eyes to see my room. It was bright, very bright. Wait my mind was screaming at me over and over again to wait. The last thing that I knew for sure was it was cloudy, very rainy, and differently not bright outside. Emmett was not around, Bella was not here and I was not in my room. I closed my eyes only to realize I've lost it, I've completely and utterly lost my mind. I've wanted for so long to hold her close to me, feel her next to me, to run my hand through her hair, get lost in her chocolate brown eyes. Then beg for her forgiveness. All I could think of is what have I've done. What have I done to Bella and my family?

"It's Edward, He's waking up."

That was Alice, Could I really be here. As I opened my eyes again I saw my family. However I made the grave mistake of moving. Every bone in my stone body cracked. To say it was painfully was a massive understatement.

"Emmett, I know you can hear me. Get Bella away form the house. Get her away for here now."

"Jasper try to keep him calm this is going to be very painful. Rosalie take Esme down stairs get a blanket and some snacks for Bella and switch places with Emmett. Tell him I'm going to need him here. " That was Carlisle, he pretty much confirmed that the family was here.

"He's on his way to the cottage." Alice said

"Edward, son, can you hear me?"

" Yes. " I very quietly whispered to my father. I was happy to see him but the happiness was short lived as my body had other plans.

Emmett's Pov

"awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

Is what I heard as I ran to the house. Alice was right this would have made Bella wake up if she would have heard this. It was Edward and he was hurting and bad. I walked into the room with Jasper on the floor curled up just like Edward was. Carlisle was next to Edward trying to comfort him. I was frozen and this was not good.

"Jazzy are you okay, come on now. Please talk to me." Alice said while trying to get him up off the floor.

"Alice get him to the cottage with the others. Emmett come on and help me. We need to crack Edward's body. We need to stretch his body out." Carlisle said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. However I knew it wouldn't be.

Three hours went by. They were full of screams and pleas for us to stop or to kill him. I hated to see my brother like this. But I guess this is what happens when you sleep for 2 ½ months. But we would make it better.

Edward's pov

The pain I was feeling was bad, I started to wonder if a vampire can take morphine and if so I needed about two cups full. It took them three hours to get everything crack, popped, stretched and I felt like crap. I cant remember a time where I have felt this bad.

"Well bro after doing that to you I don't think I'm going to kick your ass anymore. Welcome back."

Leave it to Emmett to say something like that.

"And why pray tell would you be kicking my ass as you so carefully put it. "

"Dude do I really need to tell you how bad you hurt not only Bella but me and the rest of the family. Esme is going to ground you for sure. Don't worry I'm like grounded for the next hundred years. Well maybe not you did just wake up."

"Emmett you can kick my ass later but can it wait for decade or two."

"Son, welcome back. How are you feeling."?

"Umm better then I did now that I can move. But I'm still weak. What happened and how long have I been here."

It took Carlisle about an hour to explain to me what happened, where it happen and how they found me. What I heard Emmett tell me next just made me furious. I was told about how the family would fight over nothing, how Alice refused to shop, how the family reacted to the visions Alice had and the plans to save my beautiful Bella and myself. Everything right down the vampire's curse. The one thing I knew for sure is the Lawson brothers were going to pay for hurting Bella.

"Well it should take about a week to get you back to normal….." Carlisle started to say but was interrupted by Alice barging in the room followed by Jasper carrying my sleeping beauty.

"Edward you have to listen to me and listen good. Bella is going to wake up and we need her to be in the same position she was in when she went to sleep. You CAN'T MOVE AT ALL. NO BREATHING AND ABSOULUTLY NO MOVING. You have to be a sleeping statue."

"Okay but.." I tried to ask a question while Jasper laid Bella down.

"No buts Edward. Now listen and listen very well. Bella will wake in 3 ½ minutes she will talk to you and trace outlines on your chest and more than like tell you another memory. She has done this everyday for the last 6 weeks. She'll kiss you on your forehead and go and take a shower. You can't move a muscle Edward nothing can change right now. Its not safe."

"but"

"Damit Edward, her life depends on it. You cant let her know you wake yet I promise to explain everything soon and we will figure it out but right now you have to listen. So please listen. Everyone out."

With that everyone left, Alice is still a demanding little pixie at least that hasn't changed.

Bella's Pov

Have you ever had a dream that felt like you were flying? Well I did, I remembered how it felt to be held in Edward's arms while he ran through the forest. But when I woke up I was in the same spot that I was in when I went to sleep. Edward was still the sleeping statue he was when I went to sleep. I have a feeling that today will be on of those "study dates" as Carlisle calls them. Let hope this one works.

"Edward remember when you first brought me to your house and we were in your room. I remember that day and I think that is what I dreamt about last night. I remember how we talked about your music collection and how you tried to teach me to dance. I wish that I was back reliving that day. Being lead around you room while being held like a princess, dancing. I was really dancing. I remember how it felt when you jumped out of your window. I was so scared. I was glad you couldn't feel anything because if you could im sure that you would still have bruises. We flew through the forest and through the treetops without a care in the world. It was like I had my own personal Tarzan. I wish you would wake up for me. Your family and I need you. I'm not for sure how much longer I can stay strong but I will try."

Edwards Pov.

Oh how I hate Alice right now. I wanted to hold Bella and beg for her forgiveness and yet the fear of the would happen if I did just that keeps me here being the sleeping statue. I felt the tears fall from Bella's eye as she kiss my forehead and left me. If it were the last thing that I would do I would make this up to her. I would make for sure that she would never cry again.


End file.
